Today was payday, so we decided to go out for a buffet lunch with the kids. Jason wanted KFC, so I agreed. We got there, and I realized what a bad idea it was. KFC is really cramped, and it's ok when it's all but empty... However today, it was full up with people. There was also a long line to pay and get plates. Jaymes started to get antsy right away, not yelling, just moving around very quickly and squirming. He made a run for some random guy's plate, and that was when I told Jason,"he can't do this today." Jaymes did not scream, did not tantrum. but I'm tuned into him, I know when we're in a place that is making him uncomfortable.
Jason was really furious at Jaymes, and at me. When we got outside, he said "Jaymes, you ruin everything." Then he went off on me, explaining that we need to teach Jaymes to deal. I understand where he's coming from, I really do. I know how frustrating it is. I know he wanted KFC.
Where do you draw the line? We could have made Jaymes deal, but we would not have had a good time eating. Jaymes would have fussed and been miserable. He hates crowds. We would have had no fun or really gotten to eat, and for what? To teach him a lesson, and so Jason could eat chicken?
He does need to learn that he has to function in places he doesn't like. But we also are charged with the responsiblity to know him well enough to know when we're putting him under more stress than necessary. I won't put Jaymes through agony (and yes, to him, it would have been agony having to sit there with so many people in a crowded building) just to eat chicken. I won't.
We ended up going to CiCi's Pizza. Jaymes loves it there. it's a roomy resturant, bright and spacious. You don't feel cornered. He even went up to the buffet line with me, and stood politely next to me. he sat in his chair and ate pizza until we left. no fussing, no trouble. He got a sprite instead of water, since he did such a great job.
I'm proud of my lil buddy.
Finally, a diagnosis and a plan. Of sorts.
5 days ago