It's REDDDDD!

So, over the last month or so, Jaymes has developed kind of a weird obsession with traffic lights. He loves toy traffic lights, and nothing pleases him as much as watching the toys go from green to yellow to red. Unfortunately, his love of toy lights does not extend to the real thing.

For example, our day today. I had him this afternoon and evening, as I do every Tuesday. Got him from school and we started driving home. With my usual luck, I hit every single red light the entire way home. Each time we stopped, I'd start hearing little mumbles and moans of displeasure. These gradually escalated to more obvious moans, and finally to ear shattering wailing that should have broken the windshield with its intensity.

"It's reeeeeed."

"It's reeeeed."

"Red! It's RED!"

"It's RED mommy! I need you to go! I need you to go!"

"RED! GO! GO!"

"We do not go on red. We stop on red."

(So obviously he understands that red means stop and green means go. Yellow means go faster. But I digress.)

"Mommy, GO!"

(light changes to green)

"Don't go, mommy! Go mommy! Go left!"

Don't even get me started on how the poor child handles it when the light stays red but the little turn arrow turns green.

He cracks me up with this stuff. It is very obviously super important to him, and he is very serious about it... But I really can't help but laugh a little inside. He's just such a goofy kid.

Jaymes is doing well. He's got ringworm (yuck), but the rings on his neck are gone. He's got a big bald spot on his head, right at the very top, where there was a ring. He's on 6 weeks of medication to kill off the delightful little fungi growing on his skin. Hopefully it kills things off before he gets any balder. Poor boy!

We're still here

First off, I want to thank you all for the wonderful, kind messages and well wishes- it means a lot to me. I know the blog has not been as active as in the past, but now that my funk is medicated away, it'll be better.

Jaymes is doing wonderfully. He's here part of the week and with his other family ("foster" family, though they re really just like family to Jaymes and the rest of us at this point, very good people) and is so happy. He is now potty trained, only wearing a diaper at night. He has an accident here or there, but that's fine... I am just so happy the idea of using the toilet finally sunk in. I am so ready to never touch another diaper again.

Jaymes is talking, and in greater detail and with more clarity than before. He can understand more difficult concepts, like that when we're sitting in traffic. Being the little backseat driver that he is, Jaymes will bellow "GOOOO" at every green light and stop sign, regardless of whether we can actually go or not. He doesn't much care about the cars in front of us, he knows where we're headed and sitting in traffic is not part of the plan, in his opinion.

Instead of screaming and hitting and yelling, Jaymes is now thrilled to see me and my husband when we come to pick him up. He's polite and well behaved 90% of the time. All aggression has ceased- thank God!!! He's just a sweet, laid back kid. He's been doing so well, in fact, that we plan to wean him down to a lower dose of his Tenex. He's matured and developed a lot more impulse control, and the current dose is just more than needed.

Jaymes cracks me up in sooo many ways. He has this Angry Birds hat that his grandmother gave him, and he won't take it off. It suits him, for sure. We ask him if he is an Angry Bird and he says "Not angry. Happy bird." Hi foster dad and I were talking about teaching him about calling 911 in an emergency, and we both about died laughing when we realized how a 911 call from Jaymes would go.

"Hello, what is your emergency?
"Silver Noctopus"
"What? Excuse me?"
"my silver noctopus!"
"is this a prank?"
"Silver noctopus needs to see the noctopus doctor!"

When the ambulance arrives, of course Jaymes will show them the mangled Silver Noctopus and explain that he requires the services of the Noctopus Doctor. The EMT's will not be amused.

Yeah, maybe we should wait on teaching Jaymes to dial 911.

Here at home, life is returning to normal. I'm out of the whole depressed funk thing, thanks to wonderful doctor, therapist, and medication. School started for me last week, seems like it won't be too terrible this semester. Last semester, I failed all four classes thanks to The Funk. So much for that 4.0. Boo. I'm on academic probation this semester. I made sure to pick all "in person" classes, rather than the online classes I took last semester. It's a lot easier to keep track of things and not procrastinate when there is a teacher in your face saying "this is due NOWWWW". I don't think I will have any trouble getting A's in my classes, they are pretty easy. I took Intro to Spanish, which is easy because of all the Spanish classes I've been through and the fact that I lived in a Spanish speaking country for two years. I accidentally chose the wrong math class, I meant to register for Intermediate Algebra, but I took Introductory instead. Oops. Luckily, the book is the same for both classes and I think a refresher of the easy stuff is a good way to get back into the swing of things. My Music Appreciation class is pretty awful, but it's only once a week, so I will probably survive. The fourth class I chose was a Study Skills class, thinking it would not only be really easy, but also would be useful for me to learn some new ways to study and do my schoolwork. I'm all for new skills.

So, in a nutshell... Jaymes is great. Mommy's Crazy went away. Daddy is much happier. Sierra is getting a bit spoiled. School is good. All is well. I don't feel bad anymore when people find out Jaymes isn't with us all the time. This was the right thing to do, and everyone is getting relief- including Jaymes. Not only that, but Jaymes now has 2 families. Our tiny one, and the enormous family of Mark and Tim. When Jaymes got his tonsils out last week (he never felt any pain, tough kid), Mark had about a dozen people asking how Jaymes was. Jaymes seems very popular among their friends and family. I love that. the more people Jaymes has, the better. The kid is surrounded with love from all sides.

That post about decisions that I've been avoiding posting

I know it has been awhile, I've had this post written in my head for quite some time, but I've been putting off posting it for two reasons. One, I didn't want to be judged a bad mom or a bad advocate for my son, I didn't want my fellow autism moms to think I'm a failure. Two, I have a lot of friends and family who read this blog from time to time, and until very recently, I was too afraid that some of the more judgmental family members would twist things around and make our situation something it is not.

Like I've said, I've been afraid to post. But it really isn't fair to use this blog to only talk about the good times and the successes. It's not real to leave out the ugly. So I'm going out on a limb and just putting it down for the world to see. I don't care about the judgment anymore, and I can accept that not everyone is going to pat me on the back and tell me I did the right thing. I don't expect that. The decisions we've had to make as a family in the last few months are our own decisions, and for us they are the right ones.

Things with Jaymes had not been going well, as illustrated in my last post here. He was miserable and out of control, and I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. Sierra was unhappy, and Jason and I were fighting non stop. I was very depressed, and I finally hit the limit of what I could handle.

During all the chaos and depression I was going through, Jason and I were trying to decide what to do for Jaymes. He was not happy, and he was getting progressively more difficult to handle. It all kind of hit me in the face one day when I went into his room one morning and found him painting his walls with a cup filled with poop. I don't know why (I've dealt with poop and everything else known to come out of the bodies of small children) but it just clicked in my head and I finally did stop being able to handle it. Jaymes went to the Murdoch Center (I think I posted about that before) for two weeks, during which time I got to work getting myself ok. Unfortunately, things were just as bad when he got home. It wasn't his fault, or ours... It's just the nature of the beast we call autism.

While evaluating our options to help Jaymes and ourselves, our Easter Seals person talked to me about temporary therapeutic foster placement. The word foster is misleading- of course one thinks "foster" and it is assumed that the children were taken away by social services and that the parents gave up custody of the children. That isn't how therapeutic foster works. The child lives with the family (who are trained extensively), but remains in the custody of the parent. The parent makes all decisions, takes the child to appointments, and can visit or even pull the child out of the foster home at any time. I agonized over this. Even knowing all of the above information, the decision was the hardest one I have ever had to make. I thought about it, worried about it, cried about it, and stressed about it for a couple of months.


I got to the lowest point I've ever had in my life, and thankfully I had a wonderful doctor who basically hand-held me through the last few months. He hooked me up with a fantastic therapy program that I went to daily for 6 weeks- and that really helped. The staff there were amazing, and the coping skills taught were priceless.

The doc helped get my meds worked out, and we had a lot of sorting to do. I went on Abilify at first, and it worked wonderfully except that apparently it's got a rare side effect that I was "lucky" enough to deal with- the inability to urinate. I was not pleased when we figure this out, because really, in what world is it fair to have to choose between sanity or being able to pee? I'd really prefer to have both of those things! So, we dumped the Abilify and replaced it with Zyprexa, which works wonderfully. And of course, I can pee. Hooray! you don't realize what a wonderful thing it is until you're not able to anymore.

During the time I was going to the therapy program, I made the decision to do the therapeutic foster care. The application was long and complicated, and it took awhile to get the doctors signatures and everything else we needed done. I'm glad I was still doing the therapy program, because the week or so before and then after Jaymes was placed in the therapeutic foster home was a very hard time for me. I knew it was the best decision for all of us, but that wasn't much consolation. I felt like a terrible mother, a horrible person, and a hypocrite.

Jaymes is with a wonderful couple who love him. He loves them. He's got a big brother who is 11, and they have a little puppy that Jaymes isn't terribly thrilled with. He's got his own room with some fun toys that the family got for him, along with the toys I sent with him. He's doing well at home and at school. He's started using the toilet regularly, and he is writing new words at school.

At first, when I would come to get him to go do something, he would get upset- not wanting to leave Mr. Mark's house. That was hard to see, obviously I wanted him to be eager to come with me. The first few times went that way. But now when I get there to take him out (we do Wednesdays and Sundays right now) he is excited and relatively well behaved. He still has his quirks, and he is definitely still Jaymes- but he isn't aggressive anymore. Thank goodness.

I really believe that this was necessary for our family. When I was at my lowest, I would drive by a telephone pole and picture myself running the car into it. I wasn't in a position to be a mom during that time. Jaymes was unhappy and destructive, and every time he destroyed something, Jason and I would fight about it. Having a break for both ourselves, and Jaymes was necessary. It has given me the time to get my own stuff resolved and to give Jason a break. Sierra gets to live a reasonably normal life for a bit- that has been huge for her. Jaymes gets to be with someone who isn't completely burned out- and he is thriving.

The plan is to have him back home before next school year begins. We're going to slowly add more and more days that I pick him up and take him out to sort of ease everyone back into the swing of things. I'm working with a family therapist to get a plan in place, to change things around so that when Jaymes comes home, things will work out- rather than going right back to where we were.

It has been hell. I've felt that I cannot talk to my friends or family about any of this, because I just didn't have it in me to be judged harshly. It may not seem right to those not living in my home, but this was the right decision to make. It was a hard, heartbreaking decision, but it was not a decision taken lightly or jumped into. He may be in a therapeutic foster situation, but he is not "in" the foster care system. There is no risk of losing custody- I call the shots.

I am posting this because my blog has always been about being real. If I omit every bad thing that we're going through, the blog isn't real anymore. The point of my blogging is to help other parents out, as well as to vent for myself. Maybe one day someone going through the same hell will google "therapeutic foster care" and find this post.

I've learned that it isn't about making decisions that will please others- it's about making the best decisions for the family. If that turns out to bite me in the butt by upsetting family or friends... So be it. I made the right choice and everyone is benefiting from it.

Another article worth a read

“Are We There Yet?”

Traveling with a Child with Autism

By Pamela Levac

Autism Asperger’s Digest,Nov-Dec 2007 issue (www.autismdigest.com)

Family vacations can be stressful under the best of circumstances. Throw a child or two with autism into the mix, and it can seem overwhelming and perhaps easier to just stay home. But more and more families who have children with autism spectrum disorders are traveling to all kinds of destinations near and far. Though vacationing with a spectrum child requires a good amount of planning, it can be a fun and rewarding experience for the whole family.

Preparation is key when traveling with a child with autism. It is essential to begin planning the vacation long before the actual date of departure. There are many things to consider, from getting the child acclimated to the idea and the destination to choosing appropriate lodging or ensuring your child will have familiar food available.

When making travel and hotel plans, take into account your child's particular sensory issues. Book rooms on the quiet side of the hotel, arrive at less-crowded hours, or bring along a kit filled with ear plugs, familiar toys, video games, snacks, comfortable clothes or whatever else might be needed to ease the transition.

Talk to your child about the upcoming trip and involve him or her in making plans. Have the family explore the destination beforehand: visit internet sites, get library books, travel brochures, and perhaps even request photos of the hotel room you'll be staying in. Some parents create story books that describe the vacation from start to finish, including each day's activities. If you are driving, map out a route for your child to follow, with all the stops (including breaks!) marked along the way. This can ease travel anxieties and make a long trip more palatable to the concrete thinking mind of the spectrum child. Be sure to talk about the vacation frequently to calm worries and rev up excitement, or read your travel story book regularly.

As every parent of a child with ASD knows, routines and predictability are like air and water for a child who doesn’t handle new situations easily. And, travel to unknown destinations can literally starve these kids of the familiarity that is their lifeblood.

Go back to your story book and be sure to emphasize things that will remain the same. We’ll still eat meals together; you’ll have your favorite T-shirt; there will be your beloved cereal for breakfast. If vacation involves a repeat destination year after year, for instance to a family condo, the transition turmoil will get better with time. Peggy, mother of Eric who has autism, says "The first few times you go someplace new, it's hard. He wants to come home so badly. But each year it gets easier."

Danielle, the mother of Pierre and William, both with autism, takes her family on an annual car trip to visit relatives at Christmas time. She offers the following advice: "Keep the events as simple as possible. They like to do the same things every year. Create new traditions."

Airports, planes and trains can be sources of fascination, distress, or both for children with autism. Peggy says, "Eric finds airports and planes to be interesting, but delays, long lines and schedule changes are difficult." Some delays are unavoidable, but traveling off-peak, bringing along books on tape, hand-held video games or puzzles can help. Scan the area for a quiet space to retreat to when you notice signs of overload. If you can talk to airport personnel ahead of time or bring a copy of your child's diagnosis, you may be able to sidestep waiting in long lines. If you must wait, one of you can take the child aside to distract her with stories or a snack.

Choosing to travel as a family alone or with other people is also an important consideration. If you do decide to vacation with others, Peggy recommends traveling with people who "get it." Pair up with friends or relatives who you know can deal with your child's need for space, regularity, simple routines and familiar food. Also make sure you travel with someone who can handle meltdowns without getting upset or offended. Somewhere, sometime, they will occur.

Danielle strongly believes that spectrum children should not be hidden away. "The world is vast and diverse. Because individuals with autism tend to not want to socialize by nature, I believe it is important to impose the reality of having to accept and deal with the fluctuations of daily life." Though it may be challenging at times, it is worth getting out there and seeing the world, both for the child with autism and for everyone he meets.

“Are We There Yet?”

Traveling with a Child with Autism

By Pamela Levac

Autism Asperger’s Digest,Nov-Dec 2007 issue (www.autismdigest.com)

Special Travel Options Arranged Specifically for People

Who Live with Children or Adults with ASD

More and more families are enjoying the comfort and familiarity of travel options arranged specifically for people who live with children or adults with ASD.

One such venue is a cruise run by Autism on the Seas (http://www.alumnicruises.org/Autism/Autism_Home.htm). Director Michael Sobbell decided to offer these cruises as a simple business venture, but he says the overwhelming positive response from parents has been heartwarming.

The cruise ships have an Autism Group Specialist on board and even cater to a child’s special dietary needs. There are opportunities to dine with other families or children with autism. Activities for the whole family, such as bingo, are adapted so everyone can have fun together. Sibling celebrations offer the brothers and sisters of spectrum children a chance to socialize and maybe share some of their highs and lows. There are social gatherings for teens with autism, and even respite time for parents. It’s a supportive environment where families can build new friendships and feel comfortable.

Sometimes it might be necessary to consider traveling without your spectrum child. Peggy has two adopted daughters from China who do not have autism. She would like to travel with them to their birth country unencumbered by the significant adaptations they would need to make for Eric. Peggy fears the long distance, the very unfamiliar sights, sounds and food of China will be too much for Eric to handle. She doesn't want her girls to be stuck in a hotel room watching TV on a once in a lifetime trip. So, even though it is a difficult decision to divide the family, she and her husband will travel to China with their daughters. As for Eric, he’ll spend time with favorite relatives while they are away, and Peggy plans to take him on a special train trip to Vancouver when they return from China.

Finally, if at all possible, don't skimp on those fundamental things that will make or break your vacation. It's worth paying a few extra dollars for a seat in first class or a nicer hotel room with free movies, if this will make your child’s (and therefore your family’s) trip easier and more enjoyable. Anticipating vacations is often half the fun. With spectrum children, a month or two (or three) of anticipation, careful planning and preparation can make all the difference. Bon voyage!

SIDEBAR (good to be boxed or color highlighted)

Travel Tips

• create a story book about your trip to read to your child beforehand
• choose an appropriate destination (quiet, somewhat familiar)
• call ahead to ask about special services, meals and accommodations
• consider a vacation rental instead of a hotel, so you can prepare your own meals
• if you are driving, map out stops ahead of time, and prepare for delays
• carry with you a “sensory pack” containing plenty of familiar food, toys and other essentials
• brainstorm possible problems and create a contingency plan
• talk to other families who have traveled for real-world ideas and advice
• plan structured activities for every day; don’t abandon using visual schedules just because it’s vacation!
• make sure to include some activities for everyone, including parents and other siblings
• travel at quieter times of the year
• bring a copy of your child's diagnosis to show personnel if necessary
• be flexible, and try to keep your sense of humor

Helpful Resources

Making Peace with Autism: One family's story of struggle, discovery and unexpected gifts by Susan Senator. Trumpeter Books, December 2006.

"How to Plan a Vacation with Your Autistic Loved One" by About.com’s autism guide, Lisa Jo Rudy. http://autism.about.com/od/copingwithautism/ht/vacationstep.htm

UK Guardian’s website has a helpful travel section: http://travel.guardian.co.uk/article/2005/jan/08/userstraveladvice1

BIO

Pamela Levac lives in Canada where she writes, paints and mothers her children. She is fascinated by the workings of the brain and has a keen interest in Autism Spectrum Disorders. She welcomes email at pamela-246@hotmail.com.

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Quick update and I'm an idiot

This is a very brief update, hopefully my sanity will allow for more posting soon but not right now.

Jaymes is at a 30 day respite home, to give both him and us a much needed break. He is thrilled, and just loves the people and the home, so I'm happy about that. We're working on our own issues, and letting ourselves have some down time that is spent with Sierra, letting her be a normal kid for once.

I'm an idiot and lost track of my payments on my website domain name, and would you believe that if you let a domain name expire, it costs $160 to get it back? Obviously this was not an option, so the new url is www.cantbitethedog.com. Same site, different address. Sorry about the idiocy, I have no idea how that happened. So much for assuming recurring payments actually kept..um.. recurring. Silly me.

I think I lost that sense of humor.

As evidenced by a major lack of posting lately, things have not been going so well with Jaymes. When Jaymes isn't happy, no one is happy and when Jaymes stops sleeping, so do the rest of us.

Jaymes doesn't sleep anymore. He talks all night long, and slams his bedroom door all night long. Then when he gets bored, he goes back to destroying his room. His mattress was toast a looong time ago, but now he got the big bolts out of his bed and broke that, and he's broken most of the ceiling fan blades. We removed what was left as a safety thing so that he doesn't hang and have the whole thing come crashing down on him. No clue how he gets that high, nothing in his room is tall enough for him to stand on top and reach.

He's learned how to rip holes in the walls, and seems to greatly enjoy doing so. His carpet is only still there because he chooses for it to be- the tacks are all gone and so is the pad underneath. Every morning I fill up a trash bag worth of ripped, shredded carpet padding.

I had the idea to screw down the air vent covers in the floor, to keep Jaymes from throwing toys down and breaking the AC ducts... Bad idea, I guess. I used a drill and 2 inch long metal screws. He's gotten most up by hand, several of which ended up screwed INTO the electrical outlet. Jason got shocked trying to get the stupid screws out.

I don't know how he survives this stuff. He's the type of kid who would lick the screw after screwing it into the outlet. In all honesty, he should have been dead on his floor that morning. He has someone seriously looking out for him. I'm thinking a very large flock of angels. The kid almost kills himself daily, I don't get it. He's so creative about it too. The newest thing he will tell you is "we do not ever put diaper in the toaster." Because he did. And it melted. And burst into stinky flames. We got a new toaster, and it is hidden when not in use.

The cherry on top of this sundae of destruction came a couple weeks ago. Jaymes decided to take his beloved "friend" Blue Cup (yes, it's a blue plastic coffee cup) and fill it with poop. He then proceeded to walk around the room painting the walls, his toys, and his bedding. I threw Blue Cup away. Even I have limits on what I will and will not wash poop out of. I hope it taught him something.

School isn't going well, Jaymes is too hyped up and impulsive to accomplish much of anything. At least we got the teacher we love- that's a plus.

Psych saw him last week and we're trying Trazodone every night to make him sleep. So far, he's still mostly up but there have been some moments of silence so maybe... We upped his Risperdal, and left the rest alone. He's too small to keep increasing.

I've hit my limit. I hit it when I saw the screw in the outlet and when I saw a cup full of poop and a mural I had to scrape off the walls. I hit it when he called me a bitch (oh, whoever he got that from, may you rot in hell), and when he tried like crazy to attack me when trying to put him into his room for a time out for kicking his sister.

I am tired of being bitten, kicked, hit, spit and pooped on. I am tired of hearing "shut your mouth mommy" and "you close your mouth. No talking to Jaymes." I'm tired of the fear of all the new ways he could come up with to kill himself, and I'm tired of looking at that nightmare room that only last year was beautifully repainted. Why did I bother? Why on earth did I think that that would last any amount of time?

I've been asking various agencies for help for a month. Easter Seals, our case manager, Centerpoint, Triad First in Families... Centerpoint authorized 5 days of respite, but there wee no staff to do it. The Children's Home weekend respite was full. The best we could do was several different Easter Seals workers coming during the weekend to help. Better then nothing, but I needed (and still do) Jaymes out of the house. The first two weeks I cried non stop. Jason and I discussed putting him into therapeutic foster care or an institutional setting. I cried some more.

I thought we could beat this autism, like we could help Jaymes improve and eventually know that he'll be a happy and safe part of the community. This is not going to happen. For every skill he learns, he learns a new vice. For every good word he learns, he learns another ugly one. I don't want a 15 year old in diapers, beating the crap out of me. I really, really don't. If Jaymes were bigger, I and Sierra would have been seriously injured by now. I shudder thinking about the future.

I love my son, and I'm not giving up on him... But I need a break, and i need for autism to not be part of that break. We have three days approved, he goes to the foster home tonight until Thursday afternoon. Better than nothing. Trying to get him into the Murdoch Center TRACK program, a 45 day program that is essentially emergency respite. They do med management, and school and all that good stuff. 45 days would be a break. Three is barely a nap- but I'm not complaining, it's better than nothing.

I'm sick, have some kind of cold that settled in my chest. I've been battling weird reactions to antibiotics, ended up with a bunch of stitches after a fencing mishap... Oh, and my school semester just started. Overwhelmed? You have NO IDEA.

So if it seems like I'm hiding in a little hole, I am. I'm hiding from life, from family, from blogging, from friends. It's pathetic, but that's where I am at.

I went with a friend to church the other day. I am as far from religious as you can get, but it was nice. The music was good and a lot of what was said during the service felt like it was written right for me. Maybe doing the church thing will be useful- if not for religious reasons, for social reasons.

Anyway, that's where we are, and why there have been no blog posts, no book reviews, and no product reviews. They're coming, once I get out of this funk.

Time to do some cooking with our kids!

This article has me feeling ambitious, so Jaymes and I are going to cook today. I have not decided what we'll cook, but I think it will involved peanut butter. Wish us luck, safety, and a controlled level of mess!

GFCF Cooking Together: Learning Can be Fun!

AADigest Exclusive

Reprinted with permission from a 2011 column on “GFCF Cooking Together with Kids” offered by the Autism Asperger’s Digest magazine. This selection is featured in the July/August 2011 issue. Find previous GFCF Cooking Together articles at the Article Library page of the AADigest website, www.AutismDigest.com.

The kitchen is a natural learning environment. From organizing ingredients, to creating lists, and teaching basic math concepts, it’s not hard to imagine turning time spent cooking together into an incredibly fun learning experience.

Lay the Foundation

While any time spent cooking together can become a learning opportunity, do not introduce your child to cooking for the sole purpose of teaching. The key word is “fun!” Your child needs to be comfortable being together in the kitchen with you first, so if you haven’t begun the process, take steps to gradually introduce him to food, cooking, and sharing time in the kitchen. (Check out our earlier GFCF Cooking Together articles for some great tips!)

Don’t Forget the Food

It sounds silly to say “don’t forget the food,” but the point is simply this: There is no greater motivation to learn in the kitchen than for the end product to be the reward. This means making sure you choose foods your child loves to eat.

Basic Skills

One of the best things about using cooking to teach skills to our children with autism, is that it’s so easy to tailor the information and level of difficulty to meet their needs.

· Organization and Sequencing. Write each step of the recipe on a separate card, or list them on a dry erase board in simple terms so you and your child have a visual sequence of steps to follow. Make a list of ingredients and utensils you will need, then collect them and organize everything on the counter in the order in which it will be used. The extent of your child’s participation depends entirely on her ability and comfort level in the kitchen. If necessary, begin by asking her to find just one utensil and make it her “assigned” utensil. For example, her utensil could be a spoon and when that step is reached in the recipe, she has responsibility for stirring. Put a star next to the steps that she will complete.

· Sharing Together. This is a great time to implement strategies like turn taking and synchronizing actions together. Examples might be: “I’ll pour this, then you’ll pour that,” “I’ll get the mixing bowl, you get the spoon,” or “I’ll add eggs while you stir.”

· Verbal Communication. Keep a happy, chatty conversation going, even if you’re delivering a monologue. Remember that the idea is for you to model the steps and teach while you’re in the cooking process, whether your child is watching or actively participating. Every now and then ask a simple question and give him sufficient time to respond.

· Descriptive Language. While you’re talking, use as much descriptive language as possible to define colors, textures, tastes, and smell. Pause to let her experience and absorb the similarities and differences in ingredients.

Math in the Kitchen

Could there be a better place to teach essential math than the kitchen? This is the perfect opportunity to give real-world substance to abstract concepts. Depending on your child’s academic level, you can work fractions, measurements, addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and even weight (if you have a kitchen scale) into any simple recipe.

· Counting. Count the number of times you stir, every time you add an ingredient, the number of steps in the recipe, the number of ingredients, etc. Make it a game by taking turns counting or by pretending you can’t remember the next number so your child can pitch in and help.

· Double the Recipe. Create the opportunity to teach addition or multiplication by doubling the recipe. Your child can count out loud, and physically measure and pour each ingredient twice, which gives you multiples chances to reinforce the concept. Make it more complicated by increasing the recipe by 1 1/2.

· Reduce the Recipe. On the flip side, teach subtraction or division by cutting the recipe in half.

· Fractions. Measure one cup of flour (or other ingredient), then measure again using half cup, third cup, and quarter cup measures. Talk about how they’re different. Demonstrate that you can pour two half-cup measures into one cup to equal the same amount. Another great visual method is to choose a food item that your child likes, whether several carrots or slices of bread, then lay one item out whole, cut another one in half and place it under the whole one, cut another one in thirds and place it directly underneath, etc.

TIP: You’ll need more than one set of measuring cups to show the relationships. You’ll need two half cups, three third cups, and four quarter cups.

Shapes, Sorting and Fine Motor Skills

Scholastic.com had a great lesson plan for teaching shapes and sorting. Complete directions can be found by going to their web site and searching for “fruit-shape kebabs,” but here’s the idea:

· Cut different fruits into shapes. Use any type of fresh or canned fruit and cut each one into a variety of shapes. For optimum sorting, you’ll need enough of the fruit to cut each one into the same shapes. Ultimately, the fruit will be made into kebabs, so plan to have enough pieces cut to make several kebabs.

· Sort by type of fruit. Talk about their different colors, textures, tastes and uses in cooking.

· Sort by shape. This gives you the opportunity to teach different shapes. You can also compare the cut shapes to the original shape of the fruit.

· Separate the fruit into piles. Decide how many kebabs you’re making and create a pile of fruit for each one. Count as you divide the fruit into separate piles.

· Slide each pile of fruit onto a bamboo skewer to make kebabs. Be careful about safety issues if the skewers have sharp points, but if it’s appropriate for your child, placing fruit on the skewer helps fine motor skills.

· Enjoy the snack! Serve with a GFCF yogurt for dipping, sprinkled with some raw sugar on top. De-licious!

Spending time in the kitchen together offers all sorts of opportunities for learning, from academics like math, history (origins of food), or geography (when using ethnic foods), to working on sensory issues or social skills. The key here – and everywhere – is to make learning fun for the child!

Read More Online! Our companion e-article (available only to subscribers during July & August) focuses on converting recipes to GFCF. Plus, look for a delicious, nutritious warm-weather recipe to try out with your child. www.AutismDigest.com

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