Summertime: Swimming, events, worrying about school

I'll start out by sharing our day with you guys... Took Mr. Jaymes to the Accessible Festival after he got home from summer school. Crowded, hot, loud music from a really nice band. Lots of kids, lots of adults, lots of folks with disabilities. Lots of tolerance for differences. Very nice. No funny looks when Jaymes threw himself on the ground when he'd had enough. Jaymes actually did really well. He played awhile on the playground, then we went to the pavilion to meet up with Susan, who is the wonderful lady who made it possible (with the help of our equally wonderful case manager, Julie) for Jaymes to have his therapy swing. Jaymes had not met Susan before, but you'd think they were old pals. He clung to her like a starfish, and was happy as a little clam to be snuggling with her and listening to the band.

I'd been nervous, thinking the band might be too loud for him. They were too loud for me, and there were a few times I wanted to cover my ears. They were really good though, just we were sitting so close. Jaymes sat for about 15 minutes, stock still and silent, gazing at the band and clapping occasionally. He really enjoyed the music. A couple times he covered his ears and squirmed, but he seemed to shake it off and would go right back into enjoying himself.

Did I ever mention Jaymes' picture is on the Triad First in Families brochure? I think that's kind of neat.

Here are Jaymes and Susan, rocking out together (hopefully she's ok with me posting her pic up here, and if not she is welcome to send me an angry email and I'll take it right off!):



Summer school is going well. This morning the firefighters came and showed the kids their trucks, and they (the kids, not the firemen) made banana pudding. Jaymes came home with some really lovely art projects, and unlike his "work" at regular school, I know he made this and I'm happy. It's kind of funny, the staff over at Cash told me how summer school is "pretty much daycare" and not to expect anything... And the school is in the GHETTO, seriously scariest area I've seen and the school is not pretty like Cash... And yet this school has done WONDERFULLY by Jaymes. He's on a bus with 4 kids, and his own bus aide. He has a shorter bus ride to a school in WINSTON than the bus that goes to Cash, 15 mins away. Crazy. His teacher notifies me about ANY problems or issues, and she pays attention. I'm THRILLED with summer school, and I think Cash could learn from the Ghetto School.

I'm very stressed out still about the upcoming kindergarten year. So much, in fact, that I'm afraid to even let Jaymes start. I'm not happy that he's going into a self contained "AU" class, or that he can't have any inclusion time, or that we don't know who his teacher will be. The only compromise the IEP team would make at that awful meeting was that if he got a particular teacher, then she likes to take her class to the cafeteria with the other kids, and recess too. That was enough of a compromise to keep me- well, not satisfied, but tolerant of the teams decision. The team seemed to have forgotten that I'm a part of it too. I'm still upset at myself for backing down, I feel like I signed an IEP that I do NOT agree with, just to avoid more confrontation and drama. Stupid. Anyway, the little bit of "compromise" I got totally counts on Jaymes getting this certain teacher. If he doesn't, it's going to be another nasty, icky, unpleasant meeting.

I'm a little bit more confident now, knowing I have the backing of the ECAC. Incredible organization, they are wonderful. They are a wealth of info about all things school, and they are always willing to go over IEP's and give advice and help. Really dedicated, helpful people and just an exceptional group.

I don't know how the first few weeks of school will go. As of now, I'm hoping to have another IEP meeting prior to school starting, to discuss bus arrangements and a couple other things. now that we've seen how well Jaymes does with a bus aide and on a special bus (not just the neighborhood kids bus), I'm going to fight for that. Jaymes shouldn't have to sit on a bus with dozens of kids ranging in age from his age to 4th or 5th grade. he shouldn't be confined to a harness (if they ever even put in the order for one) when it's been shown that he does just fine with an aide sitting next to him. The bus driver and aide have nothing but nice things to say about him, unlike the driver from the regular school year, who had a heck of a time with Jaymes because Cash failed to provide either harness or aide... Or even an explanation to the driver that jaymes has autism and doesn't understand a 5 min lecture on why he should stay seated.

I want Jaymes to do at least one "special" with his typical peers. I don't care which one, I'll let the school decide that. I just want him included. The reasons the IEP team gave me were BS, and had I not been so flustered, I'd have shot them down. unfortunately, I failed in that due to my own nervousness. I know a lot of autistic kiddos from therapy, and a couple come to mind who have behaviors that are MUCH more severe than anything Jaymes does- and those kids are being included in specials with regular peers. There is NO reason Jaymes can't try.

Hopefully we'll get it worked out, otherwise I guess I'll look into a change of schools.

In other news, have I mentioned I'm going back to school? I spent 6 hours at registration the other day, which was exhausting. Met some weird people, some people like me, some people who smelled like pot. It was fun, in a boring and exhausting sort of way. In the end, I got 14 credit hours lined up. Two classes are online (psychology and History of Western Civilzation or something along those lines) and two are actually go in, sit down classes. I'll be at school Monday and Wednesday. Mondays it will be the math class from 2:30-5:20pm and the same time on Wednesday. Then, on Wednesday after that, I have 30 mins to rush from the Winston campus to the Kernersville campus for the english class. I'm horribly nervous already, but kind of excited too. Wish me luck- in my school endeavors and Jaymes' too!

Todays post: All about Mommy

Aren't you excited? What? No? Well that's ok, I'll quiet the angry masses with a Jaymes update before I get to today's post.

Yesterday Jaymes had his annual OT re-evaluation. The usual stuff- stacking blocks, copying shapes with the blocks, cutting, drawing skills, etc. Jaymes has done this quite a few times, and it's never been a great experience for anyone involved. In the past few years he has screamed, thrown blocks at the OT's head, bitten, spat, and totally ignored. He's managed to break wooden blocks (how? I don't know. He's gifted. I know you're jealous.) and make OT's burst into tears.

This year, however, was awesome. Jaymes sat, Jaymes concentrated, and Jaymes TRIED. He's never actually put in the effort and focus to make a worthwhile effort before. No, I'm not being negative here, I'm saying that this is the first time he has ever genuinely been motivated to do the things asked of him. Now, he still couldn't do a good bit of it, and I don't expect him to be able to. I don't care if my almost six year old tests at a 1-2-3 year age equivalent. We're used to that, it is what it is. I'm not fond of reading the evaluation reports, but 2 year age equivalent is certainly better than 6 month, right?!

Anyway, Jaymes really did sucg an amazing job. He cut out an almost perfect circle, he cut the square, he cut the line. He did not want to stack the blocks (mostly because he knew that blocks are for lining up, and only someone who just doesn't "get it" would want to stack them upwards) but eventually he did. I think he beat his previous score on the block stacking. Good for him. He un-buttoned the buttons, and I think might have done one back up but I cannot remember.

In general, he worked his cute little butt off, and I am so impressed. Both I and his OT agree that there has been TREMENDOUS progress in the last year. He's a different child entirely, skill-wise, and I am so incredibly proud.

On to my post for today. Yesterday at OT, we were in the same room as another little boy (maybe 7 years old? I'm a terrible judge of age) and his therapist. They were discussing his Aspergers and how that is a disability like other kids at therapy were in wheelchairs, or have trouble with a weak hand, or who scream like hellions like my child. She was trying to teach him what is and is not appropriate to say to other kids with disabilities, and I found it very interesting. Watching that kid in the waiting room was also really interesting. I really haven't been around a lot of Aspie kids, nor have I read a lot about it, simply because my interest lies in Jaymes autism, which is an entirely different animal altogether (autism, not Jaymes). The little boy was telling his dad that he was very shy and that's why when another kid said hello to him, he just looked away. Now, 5 minutes before he hadn't been too shy to ask a kid in a walker what was wrong with him, but that's aspergers I suppose. Like I said- no real experience with it, so I hope no one takes offense. Anyway, I found it all really interesting when laid out simply by a kid.

I can relate to being incredibly shy. In the almost 6 years since Jaymes was born, I've changed a LOT but I still find my social skills greatly lacking. Before he was concieved (oh geeze, I almost typed "convicted"!) I was so shy I couldn't go into a store alone. I couldn't make phone calls unless it was to someone I knew super well. I couldn't go to appointments alone, or cross the road with traffic stopped at a red light, because I didn't want them all to look at me. I couldn't start a conversation, and the thought of going into a new place made me literally sick with fear.

Being pregnant with Jaymes as a stupid 17 year old changed a lot, mostly because I was told to figure it out myself, and given zero help from anyone but close friends. I needed medical coverage, so I went to the Medicaid office and sucked it up and did my application. I needed WIC for formula, so I sucked it up. It was terrifying, and I don't really think the experience really did anything but stress me out, however I did begin to learn how to do things in the real world.

When Jaymes was about one, and we started to notice the signs that something was not right, I had to deal with asserting my opinion that it was more than being a "late bloomer" to the pediatrician. Then going to a zillion new specialist offices, and having to talk to a ton of new people. Still scared me out of my mind, but what can you do? It had to be done, so it was done. I got used to making phone calls, to requesting records, and essentially forced myself to function in situations that were incredibly stressful for me.

Now that Jaymes is almost 6, I can look back and realize how much he has done for me, and how much I've changed. I have no trouble with phone calls or making conversation in waiting rooms. I actually have some other mommy friends, one that we do something with at least once a week. I can go to an IEP meeting and swallow my fear and get to business. Jaymes has taught me to advocate for him and he's taught me that in our life there is no room for self doubt and irrational fear. Isn't it amazing how much our kids can change us?

I'm still just as nervous as I've always been, I still get sick to my stomach at the thought of going somewhere new. I almost didn't go to college registration because I was too afraid to be in there with so many people and not knowing what to do. I did it, and it wasn't that bad, but I'm obsessing over the fear of walking into class on the first day now. I know it's irrational, but it still stresses me out. I'm weird like that. When making plans, I prefer to plan everything out. I'll be here at a specific time, in a specific place. What color car will you be driving, what time will you be there? Do you want me to use the front door or the side door? I have to know every specific, because then I know I can't mess it up. A good example of that is therapy. Sometimes I have Sierra with me and can't go in with Jaymes to speech, so the therapist says to come in toward the end of the session to discuss with her. This freaks me out big time. What time? Should I knock on the door? Walk right in? You can't be vague like that with me. Another example: college starts in August. I have to go from a class at the winston campus to a class at the kernersville campus with 30 mins between to get there. First off, what if I go in too early and the previous class is there and I look stupid? What if I'm late and have to walk in to a full class? What if I don't know it's the right class? What if I sit in the wrong spot? What if I don't understand what to do? Then, what if I don't make it to the next class on time? What if I'm late? What if I get lost and can't find the classroom? These things really really mess with my head.

So I guess in some ways, I've grown, and in others stayed exactly like I always was. I was never the kid in school with a ton of friends, I never knew how to dress right and act right, and even now more often than not I say things that come off entirely differently than I meant them. Thankfully I have friends who get it, and know I'm not trying to act like a freak.

I've debated a few times trying to get evaluated for Aspergers, because all that sounds a lot like what the little kid in the therapy office was saying. But then I realize that at this point in my life, a diagnosis just gives a name to the issue, and maybe gives me an excuse to use. It won't change how I feel or how I cope, nor is there a magical pill I can take to be calm in social situations. I don't know that what I feel is anything abnormal anyway. my family has no issue telling me I'm nuts, having a breakdown, etc... But to be honest, I think I handle things quite well given what I've been handed over the years. I've tried the medication thing and not only is it only good if you have health insurance to help pay for it, but I found myself feeling sick or totally zonked out, and no real change in how I felt or thought on the inside.

I've found it easiest to just know my limitations, to plan around those limitations for the easiest possible ways to handle things, and to thank whatever diety is responsible for giving me Jaymes- because he's been the biggest influence in changing how I think, act, and function.

Sad state of affairs in NC

I guess it could be worse, at least they're not axing Speech therapy for Medicaid kids.. Unfortunately, they are axing a whole lot of important stuff, including my husband's position. Note: These days, working in the human services field is a bad idea. He's got a year, then we'll be looking for a new job.

Anyway, copied and pasted from the Autism Society of NC's blog:

The Case for Raising Revenue

Without additional revenue, let’s review what is at stake: (The Autism Society of North Carolina supports this analysis from the Arc of NC.)

LME services cuts ($65 million ):
This includes a $50 million dollar cut to services without specifics, a $16 million cut to services to people with DD who also have a CAP slot and a $4 million cut to “non-core ” services.

The LME cuts for services will mean:
a.. Severe reduction of hours in day programs
b.. Loss of day program placements
c.. Loss of placements in group homes
d.. Severe cuts or elimination of supported employment and long-term follow along services
e.. Some group homes and day programs may close

Case management Cuts ($58 million):
Calculations by the Arc of NC show that to get this amount of savings, they would have to eliminate all of case management.

The case management cuts will mean:
a.. Case managers won’t be able to write comprehensive person-centered plans
b.. There will be no one to assist families with benefits coordination
c.. Service authorizations will be delayed
d.. Case management jobs will be eliminated
e.. Some agencies will close limiting provider choice and adding thousands to the unemployment rolls

3% rate cut to Medicaid services:
This cut combined with other cuts will cause providers to close and reduce already inadequate staff salaries

The provider rate reductions will mean:
a.. Direct support staff salaries will be reduced further adding to the shortage of qualified direct support personnel
b.. Thousands of jobs will be eliminated
c.. Some agencies will close adding thousands to the unemployment rolls

In addition:
Continuation budget cuts will reduce hours for people who currently have CAP-MR/DD services and limit the ability to get additional hours if a crisis arises.

Cuts to Medicaid personal care services, the Community Support program , and statewide contracts to non profits like the ASNC will further erode the supports to people with autism and other developmental disabilities and their families.

Finally, in addition to the devastating loss of service, thousands (we believe potentially 40 - 50,000) of North Carolina citizens will lose their jobs adding to our deep economic and unemployment problems.

Food for thought, courtesy of the food court

Took the kiddos to the mall in Winston today to have lunch and walk around. In the same fashion as some of my favorite autism bloggers, our family is big on bringing Jaymes everywhere. He comes grocery shopping, to the mall, to the video store, to the DMV. Wherever I go, so does he. We don't believe in keeping autistic children (or any children, for that matter) hidden away for the comfort and convenience of the masses.

I often take for granted Jaymes size. No matter how wild, hyper, even violent he might get, he's tiny. Situations are relatively easily handled, although I do admit it's hard to hold onto him screaming and flailing for long periods of time. There was, however, an occurance in the food court that made me think.

Half the occupants of the food court area turned at the sound of a 15ish year old boy shrieking and apparently engaging in a struggle with two women- one older, one in her 20's maybe? I'm really bad with ages, so I'm probably way off on everyone. Anyway, as they got closer, the boy managed to jerk away from who I assume was his mother and sister, and bolted for the arcade area. Most of the people sitting at the tables were laughing, or pointing, or looking outraged. The word "retard" was heard more than once.

It's funny how easily we autism families can identify it. To be fair, it was very obvious. The hand flapping, squealing, the excited wild running up and down the arcade. it was a much larger, african american version of Jaymes. The sister actually went by and we chatted with her for a few minutes while the mother darted around after the kid. They seemed like nice people. A few tables around us listened to our conversation, and when the family took off (literally, the son had wrestled free of his mother's grip and shot off at full speed past Sonic and the Japanese place and out of sight), one woman came over and said she was sorry for what her table had said. apparently she heard me ask if the boy was autistic, and heard when I told the sister that jaymes was as well. She listened to our little exchange about the merits of taking these kids out into public places and though she had no experience with autism, she "got it".

Some of the other tables continued laughing, mocking, making retard jokes... And what can you do? Those people choose to be ignorant and cruel. Any idiot could look at that child (er.. teen) and know that he wasn't being a jerk, wasn't messing around. Most of them did, given that they were referring to him as a "retard." I just don't understand that. I see kids like this, and I feel that family's exhaustion and stress. I can appreciate the courage that mother had to bring her son to the mall. Like I told her... Good for her. Everywhere we go with our kids, we spread awareness and we teach something. Our kids benefit, and the people (like the lady who I talked to afterward) who choose to can learn about it and understand even just a little.

I do not think Jaymes will ever be quite like this particular kiddo was. I hope he won't be. But either way, I hope I will always have the same courage that this mother had. Our kids deserve to come out of the house, out of the special ed classrooms, out of the therapy waiting rooms. They have a right to eat at the food court, play on the playgrounds, go to restaurants, and just be part of their community. Too many people feel shame and embarressment when they come out with their special needs kids. Society isn't particularly receptive to differences. But the more we step out, the more we demand that our kids be seen and be part of their community, the more tolerance we'll encounter.

Don't leave your kids at home just because people might look at you funny. Ignore it, it's worth it in the end.

Fourth of July: I'll let Jaymes do the talking

Jaymes says it all. The videos are more for sound than anything else, so don't expect to see much. Listen to all Jaymes awesome spontaneous (and some no so spontaneous) language!

Busy parents, forgotten kids, hot cars

It's summer time again. Time of year for swimming, picnics, and sadly, story after story about parents who for whatever reason, forgot their babies in the car. Seems like there's a new one each week, and it's so incredibly sad. Also mind boggling to me. Most of the stories are about parents who, being in a hurry to get to work or who don't normally take their baby to daycare in the mornings, somehow forget about the kiddo in the back seat. I can understand it, thinking logically, but as a mom, I can't wrap my head around it.

As autism mommies (and daddies!), it seems logical that we'd be tired, a little overstimulated, maybe totally burnt out at times. I know half the time I neither know the day of the week, nor that I've put away the maple syrup in the freezer or the ice cream in the microwave. I'm one of the most scatter-brained people on earth, there are days I forget what I'm saying- mid sentence! But I have never, ever, forgotten a child. Forgotten to give meds, yes. Left a kid in the car, no.

I just can't understand it. I'm neurotic. even when I KNOW my kids are in the car, I look back to make sure I have both of them. When we get out of the car, I look to make sure we've got both. It's stupid, and makes me look like a weirdo, but I'm ok with that. Ialways double check everything, because I know that I'm forgetful. I like to catch myself before anything bad happens.

I can see how it would happen. Baby asleep and silent in the car seat, dad on the phone. I've been fortunate (sort of) in having loud kids I guess. When I have kids in my car, you KNOW that they're there! But, I guess if you're busy talking or in a hurry to get to work, and baby is silent.. It's possible.

So what do you guys think, as far as punishment for parents who inadvertantly kill their kids this way? On one hand, it's inexcusable idiocy to let it happen. On the other hand, we're human. My opinion originally had been that these parents deserved the harshest sentence that could be imposed upon them- their negligence killed innocent babies, in a horrible, slow manner. Then I read this article (and you should too) and it kind of showed things in a different light.

Regardless of circumstances, I firmly believe parents who cause their kids death by leaving them in the car deserve to suffer with the memories for life. However, I'm not sure jail time is appropriate. There is no greater punishment on earth than sprinting to the car in the middle of the day when your spouse calls wondering why baby didn't get to daycare, and finding that poor child dead in their carseat. Just the thought of it chills me to the core. I cannot imagine being in that position, the horror and guilt they must feel. I doubt it ever truly goes away.

Some people, however, do deserve to go to jail. The article talks about a woman named Lyn Balfour, whose comments serve to trivialize the death of her child. I don't know why, but everything about that woman rubs me the wrong way. Her child died because she was raching to a fertility clinic to have another child. She feels no guilt or remorse for what happened... I guess it's how she deals with it, but it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

It happens, that's obvious. I think that remorse and guilt are something that any sane, feeling person would have to deal with- I don't understand how life would go on the same. Same car, same bouncy seat, and being able to nonchalantly discuss it... Freaks me out.

Thoughts?

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And a Jaymes update! Jaymes has been doing SO well in OT/PT/Speech, and behaviorwise too. He has learned to answer the question "what is your name" by saying "name Jaymes" and tapping his chest. He understands the difference between MY nose and YOUR nose, MY shirt, YOUR shirt. He loves to use his little safety scissors to cut out cards for people, and he actually draws shapes now, instead of scribbling with crayons until they're dead little stubs. He swims in his kiddy pool every day, and we do little art projects at home. He and Sierra both nap every afternoon. Not always for long, but he goes down without a fight, and I'm proud of him. We've also started to have a social life! I made friends with another mom from therapy, who has a slightly older son with autism and a little guy Sierra's age too. Jaymes and Devon play really well (side by side, not together- surprise surprise!) and Sierra has little Wyatt bringing her cups of Kool Aid and driving her around in his little Cozy Coupe. It's incredibly cute. It is so nice to have friends who can relate, and who understand Jaymes.

Jaymes lost a tooth! His first one! I'm not really sure what age kids normally start losing them, though, so I'm not sure if this was a natural baby tooth getting loose and coming out, or if he banged himself enough times to get that tooth knocked loose and eventually out. I noticed yesterday it was kind of wobbly, it was gone this morning. He's got a gap toothed little grin now. Not sure how I like it on him. Never did find the tooth, I'm sure he swallowed it. I would have liked to keep it because I'm sentimental like that.

Summer school starts next week. Tomorrow we have an open house to meet the teacher. It's not his normal school, and apparently this school is in a bad neighborhood and according to other parents and Jaymes IEP team, summer school will be nothing but daycare. I'm trying to be positive going into it though.

I'll miss him, we've actually been having a lot of fun, despite the destruction. I like having my little buddy around.

He's got an autistic southern drawl

Who knew? Jaymes has many fun, amusing, and downright eccentric qualities, and now we can add what one therapist refers to as an "autistic southern drawl" to his list. I don't know why, but that cracked me up. I need to take some video of him asking for a brown crayon, he sounds like he's from Alabama. It's beyond adorable.

I spent a couple days sulking after the not-so-great IEP meeting, because sometimes you just need to stew for awhile, but I'm feeling a lot better about things now. There's no use in stressing over next year's issues until they occur, and I guess it's smarter to assume it'll go as promised at the meeting, rather than badly. We've had enough issues with various schools over the last 3 years that I've become just a little pessimistic and not what you'd call trusting in the schools doing what they say they will. Current school is a very good one though, and we'll see what happens. I guess the worst case scenario would be having to call another ugly IEP meeting.

I have to say, IEP meetings are really good for me. I remember Jaymes' first IEP years ago when he was 3 and starting school. I was so shy and nervous I didn't speak at all the entire time. I didn't know to read the IEP goals, or that I had a say in things. I had no clue, and Jaymes had some utterly ridiculous goals on his early IEPs. Every meeting I attend teaches me something new, and forces that assertiveness out of me. I am, by nature, incredibly shy. I don't like confrontation, and I prefer to just go along with whatever everyone else wants. It's been so hard to break out of that, and even when I know I'm pushing what's best for Jaymes, I still feel slightly ridiculous and like some awful bitch for pushing the issue. It's character building, to say the least. Painful, uncomfortable, humiliating sometimes... But good for me as a parent.

Jaymes is loving summer break. Monday we had my friend Kristi and her 2 sons over to play. Her older son is a couple years older than Jaymes, and also autistic and her other son is Sierra's age. They're both adorable, and it's a lot of fun to have them come over. The kids love it. They played in the front pasture with the kiddy pool and slide. The older boy, D. had a blast, and it was just such a cool experience. Younger son had a lot of fun spraying me and Sierra with squirty gun things. Went inside later and D buried himself in Sierra's stuffed animals. Her bed is covered in them, and he had SO much fun. It was really cute to see. Sierra and the younger son, W. played with the box of rice and pinto beans (for playing, not eating) and at some point rice began flying across the room. In the end, the room ended up being vacuumed for a long long time, then swept, then I gave up. Lesson learned? Rice is a BAD toy. BAD. Very, very bad. No more playing with rice. I'll buy more beans for Jaymes to dig in.

Today, we watched Thomas the Train, played ball, and grandma came over for a little while. Then we took the kids out to Harris Teeter for cookies and to get subs (yum) and brought them home for naps. Jaymes had OT at 5:30, and he really did a wonderful job.

He was so happy and excited, although he was a little too hyper. Tons of talking and expressions of pure joy on his little face. He did some animal stencils, then colored the animals and cut them out (square, not the exact outline of the animals). He is so good at cutting with scissors, he can do it all himself and he's so close to being right on the line she draws to keep him on track. He's come such a long way. He used his Vantage Lite to request the ball pit a whole bunch of times, and had the time of his life leaping and burying himself and squirming around in the balls. I love watching him play, he's just a vision of happiness.

Jaymes is doing really well lately. His meds are stable, and he's not up and down all the time. He still has his difficult moments, but for the most part he is really a pleasant little guy and I am really enjoying having him home. Tomorrow we're going to get some summer stuff- paper, stickers, crayons, sidewalk chalk, sprinkler, etc. The busier he is kept, the easier he is to handle. Hopefully our friends will come play again, that's really a lot of fun for everyone and I love having some adult conversation!

All in all, things are going really well. I'm tired, been having trouble sleeping again. Can't take sleeping pills because I can't wake up with Jaymes if I do, so I'm trying to just fight it and sleep when I can. My hip is hurting me really badly lately, from my fall off loony nutball horse back in jan? feb? Some days I'm fine, others I can't sit comfortably, and if i move the wrong way everything sort of seizes up. Very painful. I miss my percocet.

But like I said, i can't complain. My son is doing the best he's ever done before, my daughter is developing at this crazy, insanly rapid rate (she's so smart!), and life doesn't suck. That's what matters, life not sucking. Hooray.