Tuesday, September 16, 2008

This irks me...

Jaymes came home from school yesterday, and three things really got my teeth a-grindin'. First thing is this. I sent him with new diapers in his backpack. They were impossible to miss, unless they didn't look in the backpack. And yet I got a note asking for diapers. Uh...? So I added a note "They were in there, did I not send enough?"

Yes, I am a smartass. What gets me about this is... If they didn't open his backpack, it means that at naptime, he is not getting his Blankie. Which explains why I keep getting notes aobut how he doesn't nap at nap time. He likes Blankie at nap time. I want him to have it.

Second thing. They sent home a permission slip for school trips. Ok, cool. Where's he going?

He's not. It's a blanket permission for the entire year. I'm sorry, but I'd prefer to sign one for each trip, so I know where he is going, when, and what he'll be doing. I don't want to think he might be on trips and I don't know about it. The school tells me as little as possible, every bit of info is squeezed out of them.

Third thing. The big thing. They sent home this little booklet in his backpack, it's little worksheets with places for the child to write the various letters on the lines. The work was done, in a child's hand.. But certainly not MY child. Jaymes can't make letters yet. He's still working on lines and circles, for god's sake! I know this, I know my child, and I know that we work on the writing allllllll the time both at home and in therapy. Sooo...

Don't send me some other kid's work. Maybe they did hand-over-hand. I doubt it, because it's very hard to do that with Jaymes, and this work was too neat. This is what the school does- they tell me what they think I want to hear, whether it's the truth or not. It infuriates me. If I wanted to stick my head in the sand and pretend Jaymes can do the things that other almost 5 year olds can, I would. I want to know what he -really- can do.


Moonbrain Mare said...

Holy hell ... forging Jaymes' handwriting? That's so insane it's kind of funny. What were they thinking?
"Oh she's just his mother, she won't notice" ... *facepalm*

colorisnteverything said...

Wow. This reminds me why I disliked our "special education" service so much at school. I had a friend with down syndrome who had troubles with certain things - just some things took her longer to read/say. Instead of letting her say things in class, her aid had been instructed just to read FOR her. It not only infuriated her, but also made her mother very upset. It's like they did it just to get it overwith. When her mother came to observe class one day, she threw a fit (OBVIOUSLY SO!) and demanded to talk to the principal, who came to the door demanding she "stop being a lunatic and realize her daughter may not be capable" of such things.

Then again aids were also known in this system to jump (yes, like bodyslam) children to "control" them. It left one little boy with some lost teeth. Imagine a 250lb woman jumping on a 90 lb boy in a stone hallway. Yeah, not good. NOT RIGHT. I still don't understand why we can't hire good educators and incoporate therapy into school as well. Wouldn't it A. make it easier for the parents and B. bring more educated individuals into the system with more resources to HELP children?

Jaymes sounds like a brilliant little guy. Much like our friends son with autism, though, many people unfortunately write him off on the wayside.

Jo said...

OH I love it when they send home stuff I know my kid didn't do. Mostly you can tell it is his aide who drew/wrote/colored/pasted/cut out etc for him. Once or twice we have gotten stuff done obviously by a child, not my own. I hear ya!

BCC said...

Wow - unbelievable! No wonder you're so upset with the school. This is unethical - they're trying to deceive you about the education they're supposed to be providing to your child.

Is there a Disability Rights Advocate in your area you can contact about how to handle this? It's outrageous!

Also, I read somewhere that you should make sure the following is written directly into your son's IEP:

"I am concerned that my child's non-verbal status may prevent him(her) from reporting abuse or neglect."

Always let them know you're watching and on guard.

Amber DBTD said...

His speech therapist is going to observe sometime soon, and then we'll see if i was right or wrong about the school situation... I hate to be so negative, and my more recent posts haven't been quite as bitter.

BCC said...

Whether or not it's "bitter" or "righteous anger" depends, I suppose, on who is telling the story. Since it's your blog, I think you get to make the rules. ;)

Having said that, of course what's most important is having your service providers on board with wanting - really wanting - to help Jaymes going forward.

You are an AWESOME mama-bear, and you've got good instincts for how to help your baby.

Amber DBTD said...

Well, his teachers are good people, I think they just have too many kids... And I know Jaymes' therapists are on board with helping him. He's got a very good doctor too. We're on our way to some sort of success, right?