I love reading the assorted search terms people looked up to get to my blogs. They're funny, and often they give me ideas of things to blog about when I'm stuck. Such is the case today. One Googler wanted to know "do autistic toddlers understand when parent is angry." Good question. I can't tell you about any other autistic kids, but I can tell you about Jaymes.
Jaymes understands when I am angry, but only as it relates to him. He understands that mommy is strugging not to duct tape him to the ceiling fan and watch him spin, when he's rummaging through the fridge, tossing eggs over his shoulder. He knows that when he leaves the house without mommy, mommy is not pleased. He knows that these things will result in some consequence for him, and thus he tried to be sneaky and hide his wrongdoings.
Now, let's say I'm having a fight with Jason. Jaymes doesn't understand that we're fighting, or what about, or any of that... He doesn't choose sides or anything, or run away. He does become very agitated and starts screaming at us both. (Hence my refusal to fight in front of him, if we're going to fight it has to wait until after Jaymes and Si-Si are sleeping).
Jaymes understands a couple core concepts with emotions: He knows when I'm happy, everything is fun. He knows that when I'm angry at him, he needs to stop or hide what he is doing.
He has no understanding of parents being sad. When either of us cry, Jaymes tends to laugh at us. He doesn't get it. Same with being injured. He can't make that connection. Interestingly, when Sierra cries, Jaymes gets very upset. He'll bellow "S'OK! S'OK!" at her in a menacing tone, but to some extent he is trying to soothe her I guess. Or shut her up.
Awhile back when Sierra was at the hospital, Jaymes had to be removed from the room in order to let the nurses do anything medical to Sierra. We discovered this during Sierra having her IV and catheter done. Jaymes attacked, literally attacked, the nurse nearest him and was punching and kicking away trying to save his baby sister.
This next search makes me very sad, and I wonder what the person who Googled it was going through. "giving autistic toddler up for adoption." I wonder if it was their child. How old was he or she? What behaviors did the child have? What was their situation that they had to look up information on such a difficult thing? I wonder what they decided, I wonder where that child is now. Just makes you think, you know?
This one makes me want to put my research hat on and look into it. "how to do a deep pressure massage on toddler." Hmm, I do not know. I know how to do joint compressions and brushing, and do the deep pressure hugging thing, but is there really a massage type thing for toddlers? It does not specify if the toddler in question is typical, or has autism or some other special need. Would a typical toddler appreciate a massage? I always thought those deep pressure massages kinda hurt.
"don't bite the dog book." I have a book? Wow, must have gotten all ambitious one of those late nights. Hmm.
"when toddlers don't mind." There are lots of things Jaymes doesn't mind.... Candy, destruction, licking every cookie in the box then putting them back... nope, doesn't mind any of these things. LOL.
Anyway, happy saturday to you all. We're off to go to the playground if I ever get dressed.
"Take off your cape and just be a friend."
6 days ago