!@#$*!$ BLANKET

The blanket. It makes me crazy. It needs to go.

It's bad enough that it's a friggin PINK blanket. Even worse that he will only play with THAT blanket, and that no amount of urine/feces/vomit/etc smell deters his intense love for the cursed thing... Bad enough that there is a frenzied screaming fit every time I take it for washing and that he never lets it go into the dryer but plucks it, still dripping, from the washer... Bad enough that he tries to toss it out of windows, over the stairs, out of the car.

We have hit the point of no return. The therapy place Jaymes goes to is on 2 levels. The parking deck and patient entrance is on the 2nd level, and there is a sort of guard rail that lets you look down into the courtyard below. Jaymes, today, saw fit to run over there and chuck his beloved blanket over the rail. No, mommy is not leaping over the rail to save it. No, mommy is not letting Jaymes leap over the rail to save it.

Chaos ensues, in the form of hysterical weeping and cries of "pinky, pinky!" After a few muttered "grown up" words, I gathered what was left of our dignity and stalked into the lobby to ask the very nice security guy if he could get it down for us. He and the janitor went out, rescued the blanket, and of course Jaymes jerked it away from them with a look that said more than words ever could.

"Thieves! Brigands! Blanketeers! Shame on you, back off my Pinky or I shall smite you!"

So much for gratitude. I thanked them profusely, and off we headed to therapy. Tonight is OT, and because I'm in too much pain to walk around with Jaymes and his therapist and sit in teeeeeny little chairs that really only hold one buttcheek, I'm plopped in a grownup sized chair, being a good lil blogger.

Tomorrow I think I'm sending Jaymes and Jason and Sierra off to therapy, while I take my placement test at Forsyth Tech. I need to take it pretty soon here or I'll miss the summer deadline and have to wait for fall.

I'm not sure what I'm thinking. I can barely walk, and I obviously am short on spare time. I just hope I don't fail miserably in my college education venture. I suppose at worst I can just call it a learning experience and say that I'm not really teacher material.

Speaking of teachers... Had that conference with the teacher, the social worker who filed the bullshit CPS report on us, and the principal today. Jaymes' caseworker came too, which was good because she has seen Jaymes self injure, and knows that it happens. The school remains skeptical, from what I saw. I guess I can't blame them, he is very different at school. It is a pleasure to watch him play and interact with teachers and classmates... he is so calm, so peaceful, so normal.

Not so much at home.

Yeah I know, I'm a failure as a mommy. I've tried being nice. I've tried being a hardass. I've tried routines. I've tried food rewards. Toy rewards. He doesn't care. He hates being at home, it seems to make him angry. He wants to tear up the carpet in his room, he wants to climb the counters and dig through the cabinets. stuff his face with candy.

Forgive me, but I'm tired. And my pelvis hurts. Ok, actually only my left leg hurts but that is beside the point. Also beside the point is the fact that my rear end and stomach are varying shades of sunset colors or black and blues. Very festive, but I'll spare you pics of this blogger's nether regions.