Monday, December 22, 2008

Autism and Christmas

Christmas for those of us with autistic kids is always interesting! No boring traditional crap for us, nope. First off, we like our humor. Like this gem:

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

  1. Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?
  2. Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

  3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

  4. Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And.......

  1. Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

  2. Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us

  3. Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why

  4. Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire

  5. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

  6. Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

  7. Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe

  8. Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

  9. Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

  10. Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!!

Now then... On to the more serious stuff. How do you all do your tree? Normally we get a normal sized tree, however this year the mice ate last years plastic tree and so I picked up a 4 ft plastic tree. We use all plastic/stuffed ornaments, no glass allowed. Last year we tried doing glass ornaments and using twist ties to hook them to the tree branches, but a lot broke so that was decided against this year. Well, that and the fact that the tree is so tiny, only a few ornaments fit. Personally, my favorite thing about the tree is the rainbow lights, so everything else is optional anyway.

Presents have to be wrapped and stashed immediately. Jaymes can smell a present a mile away. You'll set it down for all of 2 seconds to do something, when suddenly you hear the pitter patter of little feet, then the shredding of paper rivaled only by a rabid wolverine tearing through a paper company. I have them in the locked bedroom this year, and there have not been too many unwrappings! It's funny, looking back. Jaymes used to have zero interest in opening gifts. Last Xmas was when the fun of it really caught on with him, and Sierra copies everything he does, so it works out well. But it sure would be nice to have presents under the little tree. Or maybe not.. I can't imagine much of anything will fit beneath it's diminuative branches.

Jaymes is a candy cane freak. As he is on that no red dye diet, it pisses me off to no end when well meaning relatives give candy canes. It's like wrestling with an angry polar bear to get one away and I feel just horrible for it. Family doesn't get that restrictive diet thing, there is no desire to learn or show respect! Makes me crazy. Anyway, everytime we go into the bedroom, it's a mad dash to go in or out without Jaymes streaking past and grabbing a handful of the forbidden candy canes. I should just throw them out, but then he'd dig through the trash... Besides, Jason likes them. My house is -supposed- to be a candy free zone. However, the combination of my mother, Jason's mother, and Jason's own sweet tooth are bending that rule to the breaking point. At present all candy is up so high I have to climb a chair to get it down. Seems to be working.

I love wrapping paper and bows. I swear, one day I will win the lottery and the next Christmas, watch out! If funds permitted, I imagine I'd be a LOT like my favorite blogger Kelley with her Xmas crazy. I ended up just getting one giant roll of cute reindeer cartoony paper, it was plenty for what I needed to wrap. I really love the shiny sparkley ones. Which gift wrap makes you go "oooooooh!"?

I'm undecided on how I'll be handling gift time on the big day. For Jaymes, opening it all at once is really too much. Too much chaos, too many things to play with. He tends to get overloaded quickly, then we have an angry boy all day long. I'm thinking maybe we'll do a couple gifts a couple hours apart. They don't have that much this year, but more than last year. I feel like they have too much crud they don't play with, so we got things that will be a huge hit. Thomas the Train stuff for Jaymes, Elmo and baby dolls for the little pink devil. DVD's for Jason. Never as much as I wish I could do. I'd love to be one of those people that spends $500 per person... But you know, it's not what Xmas is about.

I took a huge load of old toys and clothes to Goodwill the other day, and lo and behold EVERY closet in the house is spotless. I'm very pleased with myself. Clutter makes me nuts.

Oh, one Christmas surprise for me... Dell finally admitted that my laptop is a worthless pile of junk and is REPLACING IT!!! It should be here in the next ten days, and then I mail my paperweight back to them. I'm thrilled. I plan to get the extended warranty at tax refund time, so that I don't have issues again.

I got one Christmas gift early, and it is a wonderful one. Jason got me a new dog! A big black one! He had planned to leave early morning and pick her up so I'd have her "under the tree" but unfortunately a family misundestanding ruined the surprise and he had to tell me. On the plus side, I got her a few days ago and I just love her. She is black and longhaired, with a face similar to Chancies. Here she is!

She's very very well behaved. She knows how to shake hands, and she is pretty reliable off leash. She and Echo love each other already. She'd make an excellent therapy dog actually. I love her, and it makes me feel SO much better with the pain of Chancie's passing. Best gift ever. Would have been a cool surprise, but Jason tried. He even thought to ask permission ahead of time from the landlord. Merry Xmas, what a great gift. Jason did good.

Got some cards from internet friends this week, including one from Australia! It's a gorgeous drawing of a reindeer made by her talented little girl who is Sierra's "name twin". Her name is Sienna. How cool is that? Also got a funny one making fun of someone who annoys me online, it makes me crack up everytime I see it. And a cute ducky one, and one with three singing rats. I drew some horsie ones for some folks from my horse forum, but due to lack of time, stamps, and energy, some might not make in until 2009. But it's the thought that counts, right? Gotta get some Ebay crap sent out as well (yay?). Made $50, to put toward rent probably

My friend Julie (from the Earth To Brandon blog) sent us a box of gifts that I had not planned to open till Xmas, but Jaymes had other ideas and went into paper shredding mode. I got a really awesome horsie picture frame, a horsie box thing that I'm hiding all my cards and driver lisence in so I don't lose them, and a beautiful blanket with horses on it. I LOVE it all. (note to self- email Julie and say thank you). Jaymes got a Sesame Street DVD that he is currently glued to. Sierra got a baby doll with some cute accessories. The second she saw what it was, her mouth dropped open and she screamed "BABY!!!" Julie is awesome. Very very awesome. I'm late on gifts that have to be mailed out. No way they'll make it for Xmas. Can't be helped. Hope people forgive me!

Ok, I've rambled a long time here... Anyway, I'm working on ignoring my family's mental breakdown, and enjoying the holiday. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday too! Gifts and food and togetherness- hooray! And a fresh new start in 2009. We all need a fresh start.

If I don't post again before then, have a merry Christmas, happy Hannuka, kwanzaa or whatever else you may celebrate. I hope we get some snow! My piece of garbage laptop is unreliable at best, and often refuses to turn on, so I may well be computerless. I was computerless all morning, and it irritated me as I needed a phone number.

Er.. Rambling again, Happy Holidays, hug your kids, and ignore the holiday grinches!

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