Sunday, June 29, 2008

Grandma visits Jaymes

Why is it that grandmothers feel the need to stuff my kids with sugary stuff and then leave? As far as I can recall, as a child I didn't even get soda. I used to have to sneak sips of my mom's Diet Coke and risk getting in major trouble if caught. She must have changed somehow, over the years, because every time she comes over (or we come to her) she's got candy.

Today, for instance, both kids had just been taken out of the tub, fresh and clean and sweet smelling. Grandma pulls up, with a giant bag of candy. Oh joy. Rock candy, lollipops, those unicorn horn lollipop things, candy necklaces, ringpops. Ok, so I admit it, I ate a couple ring pops. Mmmm.

Immediatly Jaymes is handed a unicorn horn pop that must be 3 feet long. Does he lick it? Nooooo. Does he slurp it? Noooo. Does he suck on it? Nooooo.

He bites it and ferociously devours it in it's entirety in less than five minutes. WTF?

Sierra comes out a minute later, with my husband. She's still damp from her bath, and so cute and clean. She sees Jaymes with candy and gives me that look accompanied by her little grunty "eh?"

Grandma goes and gets her a ring pop. Jaymes sees ring pop and throws the stick of his unicorn pop, pieces still clinging in places, into a pile of horse manure. Did I mention we were out in the dirty, grassy pasture?

So Jaymes has realized that Sierra got something different, and it's gbot more candy on it than his spent unicorn pop. Ants are crawling on the unicorn pop by now. Upon realizing the ring pop in question was meant for Sierra, Jaymes grabs his nasty unicorn pop and tries to lick it, to everyone's horror. I took it away from him, starting an all out tantrum. Flat on his back in the pasture, legs and arms flailing, drool runnning down his cheeks, eyes teary. The neighbor allll the way down the road looks our direction, he's that loud. Lovely. Grandma takes off to go get Jaymes another candy, because he needs one. Jaymes is seen prancing (yes, prancing, I'll try and get video of it one day) from the direction of her car, a candy necklace wrapped around his wrist. It's a slightly flamboyant combination- the prancing boy adorned with a rainbow colored bracelet. That's my boy. Soon as the kids have ingested the appropriate amount of candy, grandma hops in her car and drives off, joking about the sugar-high both kids are about to experience.

On the plus side, she gave me a thing of blackberries that I had finished before she finished backing out of my driveway. MMM.

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