No one deserves the treatment I just saw. I watched the videos on this post over at Age of Autism. It's "a ‘sincerity test’-- conducted by a school attorney when my husband and I filed a religious waiver to refuse vaccines for our boys. David Cohen, attorney for our school, wanted to make supersure that we really, really believed in God."
Now, as most of you longtime readers are aware, I am extremely opposed to non-vacc'd kids being allowed in public school. I do not feel those parents have the right to expose our kids to possible diseases. For Jaymes, if someone around him is sick, so is he and I'm not ok with the thought of an unvacc'd kid coming in and exposing him to things that he can then come home and pass on to his not yet fully vacc'd sister. I'm all for a slower vaccination rate, staggering each shot, as long as every kid gets every shot.
However, personal feelings aside, this goes way beyond the vaccination issue. This is the school hiring a lawyer to verbally and emotionally abuse these parents into submission. To question their beliefs, to question their personal spiritual thoughts and beliefs. The slimeball in this video goes so far as to try and force these parents to explain how their God speaks to them, what he says, and whether or not he told them not to vaccinate. He also repeatedly asks why, if God made man smart enough to figure out vaccination, it's so bad to use it. (I think he has a point there, but the delivery of the question was abusive and vicious.)
I understand the school system wanting to make sure these religious exemptions are truly religion based, I really do. I've had a few people (the quack chiropractor/nutritionist, a health food store employee, and a whacko fellow parent) all tell me "It doesn't matter what you believe, just tell them it's your religious belief."
That's wrong, in my opinion. Religion should not be used in such a way. It's not a convenient excuse to get away with no vaccinating. There should be a lot more to it, if it is truly sincere. If you listen to the parents on the video talk, you can tell it IS sincere. They have a true belief in god, and they are 100% sure on what they want and what they think is right. I still disagree with them and think that they need to keep their kids vacc'd or keep them at home, but I do NOT question the validity of their religious convictions.
Agree or not, no parent should ever be subjected to such insensitive, cruel, unethical treatment. No parent should have to be asked the deep, invasive questions these parents had asked of them. No parent should have to explain what goes on in a "conversation with God." Those things are private, deeply personal spirtual experiences that no one has the right to question or interrogate anyone over.
The way the parents in the video were treated turns my stomach, and that's really saying something if you know much about me. I do not believe in God, I have no religion of any kind. I think parents who don't vaccinate and expect the schools to let their kids in are being ridiculous. Those are my personal feelings on the subject. But I DO believe that everyone should be treated with respect. Just because to me, there is no God, does not mean I do not have the utmost respec for someone else's spiritual beliefs.
Shame on any person, lawyer, or school district who would treat parents in such a manner.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Rise of the Cookie Monster
Every Sunday my family heads off to Greensboro for a lunch out and a trip to the kids very favorite place: The Greensboro Children's Museum. It used to be we just went to the museum, but we found that the kids would get hungry, and thus very whiny right after we arrived, even if they had eaten at home just prior to their arrival. Apparently only fast food can satisfy their immense Sunday hunger. Ok, whatever works. I like eating out too.
We decided on Mcdonalds, mostly because we could all eat there for under $18 and it has a huge, beautiful Playplace. Jaymes has recently overcome his terror of Playplaces and has discovered that his life was devoid of meaning until he began to fully appreciate the charms of the gigantic mass of twisty tunnels and plexiglass windows.
I have noticed that very little eating occurs at Mcdonalds, and what does seems to go on inside the playplace. I'm sure the McD's employees just looove me. Jaymes prefers to grab a handful of fries or part of a burger and disappear into the depths of the playplace, only to re-emerge when he's run out of food. I had assumed he was eating most of the food, until I was unceremoniously forced into climbing into the placeplace to rescue Sierra and found a long trail of fries and ketchup following my little man.
Yes, I did mention rescuing Sierra. While Jaymes did overcome his fear, Sierra is not at that point yet. She wants very badly to enjoy thr playplace, but it's too intimidating for her. It would have been nice if she'd have figured that out BEFORE going halfway up and realizing she was stuck (and banging desperately on the plexiglass screeching "Mommmmyyyyyyyy!!!!!" over and over), but that's not really Sierra's style. Of course there were other families there, so I had no choice but to rescue the baby.
I recall loving those stupid playplaces as a kid. I have fond memories of playing in them. What the HELL was I thinking? As you climb in, the first thing you notice is how hard the plastic tubes are, but you really don't get a chance to dwell on the pain they're going to cause your knees, because those same knees have suddently made friends with the many rock hard plastic grippers that help you climb through the tunnels. If that weren't painful enough, the grippers and tube itself are studded with little metal bolts. All over.
By the time I got halfway up, to where Sierra was now happily playing and giggling, my knees were feeling like they have been run over by a truck, then doused in battery acid.
No point going down, may as well go all the way through and go down the slide, right? Less painful perhaps? Not quite. Another uphill climb through a stabby, metal studded tunnel of agony, the knee pain disappearing every few seconds when a violent static shock jolts your entire body everytime you touch the walls of the tunnel or your own clothing. Then, a cramped trip through a series of small rooms with big windows, where all the other parents get a great visual of one's now sweaty rear end being dragged through spaces much too narrow for it. It crosses the mind that hopefully the thing is soundproof, so no one can hear the stream of cursing and exclamations of pain coming from the previously peacefully eating parent shoved into the plastic deathtrap.
At the top, Jason is waving cheerfully to us, and the other parents smile as if to say "aww, how cute"
STFU.
Finally, the slide! But oh, how narrow it is. Hmm. First attempt gets me stuck sideways with Sierra kicking me in the ribs wanting to slide down. Second attempt has one leg bent back in a way that would have resulted in an ER trip had I slid down in such a position. Third attempt landed me on my back with a baby on my chest, going way too fast down a way too twisty slide. hit the end, can't get up because it's still covered. Slide on rear end slowly out, and finally manage to stand up in spite of the back/neck/knee/butt pain. Jason whispers "Your hair..."
Static and hair. ARG. Time to go!
That finished, we headed off to the museum. We always get there right at opening at 1pm, and there is always a line. The guy at the front desk knows us by now, and he has noticed how different Jaymes is. It used to be we came and left, Jaymes kicking and screaming bloody murder. now Jaymes comes in excited and leaves with only a few disgruntled moans. The museum has done great things for Jaymes. Used to be we could only play with the train tables, but he's slowly branched out to playing with other things too. The main portion of the time spent there is still trains, but I can live with that.
This time, Jaymes decided to go to the Theater section first. This is a room with a small stage, and carpeted stair type seating. There is a podium with buttons for sound effects and lighting, and costumes out behind the stage.
Jaymes has never willingly put on a costume- not ever. Halloween wouldn't be Halloween without his screams of protest as i wrestle him into whatever sute disguise I've purchased for the occasion. And yet this day, he walked onto the stage, grabbed a full body cookie monster suit, and put it on. Even the hood.
I melted with the sheer cuteness. And the cuteness didn't stop there, no it did not. He wouldn't take it off, and wandered the museum for the rest of the 3 hours wearing it. He was so sickeningly cute that everyone turned to look at the sweetness. Other kids said "Cookie Monster!!!" and got excited. Jaymes ignored them and played on the train tables. He tossed his pink blankie over his neck like a scarf, and got very angry everytime his cookie monster hood fell down.
He played blocks, he tossed balls, he blew bubbles. All in his suit, all happily and willingly and without yelling. When finally he did get too hot, he slithered out of the costume and went on with his fun.
What a cool day. I have video, but AT&T is being stupid and I can't send the videos to my email, so you'll have to wait on the visual. It's worth the wait, believe me.
Oh, and the best part: At the end of the time there, he took off his shoes and plopped down in the sandbox. Jaymes has never ever sat in sand willingly before, and here he sat with the other kids, scooping sand into a cup with a spoon. He was happy, he was serene, he was just like all the other kids. He didn't mind that he was getting sandy, nor that others were around him, he was just peaceful.
We decided on Mcdonalds, mostly because we could all eat there for under $18 and it has a huge, beautiful Playplace. Jaymes has recently overcome his terror of Playplaces and has discovered that his life was devoid of meaning until he began to fully appreciate the charms of the gigantic mass of twisty tunnels and plexiglass windows.
I have noticed that very little eating occurs at Mcdonalds, and what does seems to go on inside the playplace. I'm sure the McD's employees just looove me. Jaymes prefers to grab a handful of fries or part of a burger and disappear into the depths of the playplace, only to re-emerge when he's run out of food. I had assumed he was eating most of the food, until I was unceremoniously forced into climbing into the placeplace to rescue Sierra and found a long trail of fries and ketchup following my little man.
Yes, I did mention rescuing Sierra. While Jaymes did overcome his fear, Sierra is not at that point yet. She wants very badly to enjoy thr playplace, but it's too intimidating for her. It would have been nice if she'd have figured that out BEFORE going halfway up and realizing she was stuck (and banging desperately on the plexiglass screeching "Mommmmyyyyyyyy!!!!!" over and over), but that's not really Sierra's style. Of course there were other families there, so I had no choice but to rescue the baby.
I recall loving those stupid playplaces as a kid. I have fond memories of playing in them. What the HELL was I thinking? As you climb in, the first thing you notice is how hard the plastic tubes are, but you really don't get a chance to dwell on the pain they're going to cause your knees, because those same knees have suddently made friends with the many rock hard plastic grippers that help you climb through the tunnels. If that weren't painful enough, the grippers and tube itself are studded with little metal bolts. All over.
By the time I got halfway up, to where Sierra was now happily playing and giggling, my knees were feeling like they have been run over by a truck, then doused in battery acid.
No point going down, may as well go all the way through and go down the slide, right? Less painful perhaps? Not quite. Another uphill climb through a stabby, metal studded tunnel of agony, the knee pain disappearing every few seconds when a violent static shock jolts your entire body everytime you touch the walls of the tunnel or your own clothing. Then, a cramped trip through a series of small rooms with big windows, where all the other parents get a great visual of one's now sweaty rear end being dragged through spaces much too narrow for it. It crosses the mind that hopefully the thing is soundproof, so no one can hear the stream of cursing and exclamations of pain coming from the previously peacefully eating parent shoved into the plastic deathtrap.
At the top, Jason is waving cheerfully to us, and the other parents smile as if to say "aww, how cute"
STFU.
Finally, the slide! But oh, how narrow it is. Hmm. First attempt gets me stuck sideways with Sierra kicking me in the ribs wanting to slide down. Second attempt has one leg bent back in a way that would have resulted in an ER trip had I slid down in such a position. Third attempt landed me on my back with a baby on my chest, going way too fast down a way too twisty slide. hit the end, can't get up because it's still covered. Slide on rear end slowly out, and finally manage to stand up in spite of the back/neck/knee/butt pain. Jason whispers "Your hair..."
Static and hair. ARG. Time to go!
That finished, we headed off to the museum. We always get there right at opening at 1pm, and there is always a line. The guy at the front desk knows us by now, and he has noticed how different Jaymes is. It used to be we came and left, Jaymes kicking and screaming bloody murder. now Jaymes comes in excited and leaves with only a few disgruntled moans. The museum has done great things for Jaymes. Used to be we could only play with the train tables, but he's slowly branched out to playing with other things too. The main portion of the time spent there is still trains, but I can live with that.
This time, Jaymes decided to go to the Theater section first. This is a room with a small stage, and carpeted stair type seating. There is a podium with buttons for sound effects and lighting, and costumes out behind the stage.
Jaymes has never willingly put on a costume- not ever. Halloween wouldn't be Halloween without his screams of protest as i wrestle him into whatever sute disguise I've purchased for the occasion. And yet this day, he walked onto the stage, grabbed a full body cookie monster suit, and put it on. Even the hood.
I melted with the sheer cuteness. And the cuteness didn't stop there, no it did not. He wouldn't take it off, and wandered the museum for the rest of the 3 hours wearing it. He was so sickeningly cute that everyone turned to look at the sweetness. Other kids said "Cookie Monster!!!" and got excited. Jaymes ignored them and played on the train tables. He tossed his pink blankie over his neck like a scarf, and got very angry everytime his cookie monster hood fell down.
He played blocks, he tossed balls, he blew bubbles. All in his suit, all happily and willingly and without yelling. When finally he did get too hot, he slithered out of the costume and went on with his fun.
What a cool day. I have video, but AT&T is being stupid and I can't send the videos to my email, so you'll have to wait on the visual. It's worth the wait, believe me.
Oh, and the best part: At the end of the time there, he took off his shoes and plopped down in the sandbox. Jaymes has never ever sat in sand willingly before, and here he sat with the other kids, scooping sand into a cup with a spoon. He was happy, he was serene, he was just like all the other kids. He didn't mind that he was getting sandy, nor that others were around him, he was just peaceful.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Request to my fellow Autism Bloggers
As you all know, I'm working very hard on the website to get it ready for it's first sponsor in April. I'm adding more articles, videos, stories, and information every day, but I need your help! As of right now, the site doesn't come up in search results until around page 2 on Google. I need more site traffic to get it up in the search results, or people will only find it if they know the URL to type in.
If some of you bloggers would be willing to check out the site and do sort of a mini- review on your own blogs, I would be eternally grateful. This site is my way of helping others, my way to feel like I am making some sort of positive impact in the autism community. But all my work means very little if I can't get it out to the people who could really benefit from the information and resources.
I do not make any profit on this site, believe me, it costs a good deal to keep it running... But to me it's worth it. I'll eventually have sponsors to help with the cost of keeping it up, but even then any monies leftover after paying the server fees will go right back into making the site better and better.
Those of you who do not have blogs can help out too! Post up links to the site (not the blog!) around Myspace, Facebook, or whatever sites you use. Word of mouth (keyboard?) is just as helpful as anything else.
Thank you all for your support, and I promise I'll get back to blogging about interesting things rather than website crap!
Now, off I go to clean poop off the wall in Jaymes room, remove a cookie from Sierra's diaper, and yell at the dogs.
If some of you bloggers would be willing to check out the site and do sort of a mini- review on your own blogs, I would be eternally grateful. This site is my way of helping others, my way to feel like I am making some sort of positive impact in the autism community. But all my work means very little if I can't get it out to the people who could really benefit from the information and resources.
I do not make any profit on this site, believe me, it costs a good deal to keep it running... But to me it's worth it. I'll eventually have sponsors to help with the cost of keeping it up, but even then any monies leftover after paying the server fees will go right back into making the site better and better.
Those of you who do not have blogs can help out too! Post up links to the site (not the blog!) around Myspace, Facebook, or whatever sites you use. Word of mouth (keyboard?) is just as helpful as anything else.
Thank you all for your support, and I promise I'll get back to blogging about interesting things rather than website crap!
Now, off I go to clean poop off the wall in Jaymes room, remove a cookie from Sierra's diaper, and yell at the dogs.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Major Website Construction
Yes, I have finally gotten seriously cracking on the Don't Bite The Dog site. For those of you who do not know, the site is basically a mega-resource for all things autism. Features that are there, or are being created include an autism video library that you can browse by category or just randomly, a state by state directory of agencies- everything from autism societies to hippotherapy to autism friendly pediatricians. Also the DBTD Library of articles on every aspect of autism, therapies, treatment, etc. Basically, a little bit of everything.
The site is, unlike this blog, as unbiased as possible. I will be including both pro and anti vaccination information, traditional and biomedical therapy options, all with as little bias as possible. My hope is that parents will research and come to a decision about vaccination or treatment in a fully educated way, rather than pointing people to the things I would like them to choose.
I could REALLY use some help from you readers, though. Things I need, desperately:
Thank you for your support, and forgive my lack of blogging while I go crazy working on the site.
Oh, and if you guys wouldn't mind, would you access this blog through the link on the website? I'm trying to jack up my site traffic a bit, and this would help me immensely.
The site is, unlike this blog, as unbiased as possible. I will be including both pro and anti vaccination information, traditional and biomedical therapy options, all with as little bias as possible. My hope is that parents will research and come to a decision about vaccination or treatment in a fully educated way, rather than pointing people to the things I would like them to choose.
I could REALLY use some help from you readers, though. Things I need, desperately:
- Articles written by you that deal with anything autism related, therapy related, anything you think would be a good resource for parents looking for information. I can spell check/edit for you, and articles must be a decent length, though a novel is hardly required! I cannot compensate people for their work at this time, however you would be credited and your work up on the web for others to marvel over! You can email articles to Amber@dontbitethedog.net
- Resources for your state. Agencies, therapists that are especially talented with autistic children, autism friendly pediatricians, DAN! docs. Anything goes, all I ask is that the resource have a website to post up. You can email that information to the same email above, and please do check the list for your state first so you don't send links to things that are already up!
- Photos or video of YOUR autistic child. I cannot accept videos or photos without parental consent. these will be used around the site, and videos in the Video Library. Videos most in demand are stimming videos and therapy sessions on tape. Much thanks to Caandahl of Youtube, and Squid of The Adventures of Leelo and his Potty Mouthed Mom for the videos they allowed me to use!
- Suggestions for additions to the site, errors you might have noticed, or anything that you think will help me make the site a sucess.
Thank you for your support, and forgive my lack of blogging while I go crazy working on the site.
Oh, and if you guys wouldn't mind, would you access this blog through the link on the website? I'm trying to jack up my site traffic a bit, and this would help me immensely.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Choosing your battles
I hear this a LOT, in relation to behavioral issues with Jaymes. Pick your battle, don't nag nag nag about everything. Ok, the blankie is on the floor. Not the end of the world. He's not using his fork quite right, he's on the counter, he's hitting Sierra, he's messing with the TV remote. So many things that happen all at once, and leave me slightly twitchy.
I try and choose my battles wisely. If Jaymes wants to play with the cans, it's fine by me. I don't care if he makes a mess of the room he is playing in, because I'll make him help clean it up later. I don't expect perfect obedience, nor do I expect Jaymes to be able to handle situations just because we want him to. For example, months ago, we had some extra cash and decided to go to the KFC all you can eat buffet. Jason loves KFC, and I like them ok too. Sierra is a chicken fiend. But when we got inside, the problem became pretty clear, at least to me.
There was a huge line. Strike one for Jaymes. He does not handle standing in cramped crowded lines. We're working on it, because in the real world it's just a hard reality. You have to stand in line, and doing so politely and quietly is the end goal. If it had only been the line, I'd have made him muddle through it. The restaurant was tiny, they only have like 6 tables all cramped together. About the size of my dining room/kitchen. Strike two for Jaymes. He gets uncomfortable in small, crowded areas. Add in the line, and it was a miracle Jaymes was ok. At this point, I noticed his subtle (some not so subtle as well) cues to leave. He was squirming and moaning quietly, trying to make me let go of his hand and his eyes were getting that "all hell is about to break loose if mommy doesn't help me" look. Jason was getting irritated with him, and people were turning to look at him. Strike 3 for Jaymes, by way of people making mommy very uncomfortable. He can tell when I'm getting nervous, and it sets him off big time. So I told Jason that Jaymes was not going to be able to handle himself in this situation, and honestly could not blame him. Jason was upset, and had the very valid point that we as parents should not be ruled by our offspring, should not bend to Jaymes' will all the time. In a way, I agree. But this wasn't a "I don't wanna" type situation. I made the decision to leave, not based on Jaymes behavior or demands, but because I could see how anxious and stressed out he was becoming in that 2 or 3 minutes in line.
There is a fine line between picking your battles, and letting your child run your life. On the flip side, there is an equally thin line between forcing a child with a disability to do something that he isn't able to handle and teaching him to handle something. I'm not saying let the boy do whatever he wants, if he screams his head off for candy at the supermarket, there is no pity from me.
I guess it all comes down to really knowing your child. I know Jaymes well enough, I know the signs and cues he gives when he doesn't feel "ok" with something. Jason saw the KFC incident as Jaymes being a brat and ruing his favorite meal, because I don't think he can understand that there is a difference between bratty Jaymes and genuinely uncomfortable Jaymes. He needs to understand that Jaymes doesn't do things to ruin them for Jason. That's not in Jaymes' agenda. He doesn't have that sort of thought process yet. He doesn't do anything to hurt us, or ruin things for us, or to irritate us. He'll do things that he realizes will cause an amusing reaction, like poking Sierra to giggle at her annoyed little squeals. He does it because it's a game, and it's funny to him. We stop the behavior, but I never take it to heart. he isn't doing that because he enojys Sierra's unhappiness, he just likes the angry noises she makes! The KFC situation, however, was not like that. He was genuine in his discomfort, and I take that very seriously.
It gets so exhausting trying to decide which behaviors to "fight" over and which are really harmless and can be allowed to continue. I'll continue to let Jaymes play with his cans, because while it is annoying and I have no clue what is in any of those cans anymore, it's good play. The cans are satisfyingly heavy for Jaymes, they stack nicely, and they're shiny. Jason does not want me to allow this, but hopefully in time he'll understand. Having decided that the cans were not a worthwhile battle, I added a few rules to the cans to keep our sanity and make him aware of boundaries. He can only have the cans if he asks me using either "I want cans" "want cans" or simply "cans". He can only play with the bunch without labels, if it has a label, it's off limits. If the cans cause a fight between the kids, they go away. No throwing the cans. Basic stuff like that.
His diaper hoarding behavior was one that we could not allow. Yes, it's fun for him, but diapers are expensive and we go through a lot of them. They aren't toys. I put a lock on the diaper cabinet, and we're good so long as I remember to lock it every time.
The current issue is one I haven't decided about yet. To me, it's not worth the incredible explosion that will come of denying him his fun. He's got a plastic box of Thomas the Train tracks, and he pours the whole mess out onto the couch and floor, and either snuggles with it on the couch or builds long tracks all over the house. The mess is a minor thing for me, kids play areas should be messy while play is going on, I think. It's the obsessive nature of it that I'm not sure about. I don't know that we want to encourage hours of repetitive play like this. But he is so happy, quiet, and serene while he builds his track. it's something that really soothes him.
The problem comes in with Sierra. She sees all this train, and wants to play. Jaymes uses her toys, no reason she shouldn't be able to have one piece of train to play with. He doesn't even use the trains, just builds track. But when Sierra takes a train, he chases her down if I'm not there to stop it right away. He goes hysterical, screaming, hitting, kicking and pushing Sierra. To her credit, Si-Si has some fast little legs! I have not found a way to let Sierra play without this huge fight between them. Jaymes views it as "this is MY stuff, back the hell off" and Sierra views it as "Well you're wearing MY pink blanket and stealing toys from MY room, why can't I play?"
It isn't fair to Sierra that she can't touch the trains. Jaymes makes everything his, but the trains are sacred. Tried getting Sierra her own, doesn't matter. I can see Jaymes' side of it too. In his mind those are his, and he likes them lined up just so. Her messing up his lines and patterns is extremely upsetting to Jaymes.
So the question is, do I get rid of the train? Jaymes would be devastated. Do I hide it and only let him play at certain times, like at Sierra's nap time? Do I leave it alone and continue to just try to manage the fights as they occur? Jason wants to just toss the trains, and I don't feel like that's fair. Jaymes loves those things, and so little keeps his attention the way these do.
Sometimes it's so easy. At Walmart, Jaymes can sit in the cart or stand. I would prefer he sit rather than stand, but standing is a better alternative than him shrieking and throwing himself out of said cart. Not a hard choice to make there.
Meal time is a battle worth fighting, and thanks to that mindset, Jaymes eats very well. It's still hard to get him to sit though. Rather than ruin mealtimes altogether by forcing him to sit in his chair and cause an uproar, I let him sit on the floor or on my lap, as long as he's sitting quietly and eating.
In many ways yes, we do bend our lives to suit Jaymes. I respect him and when he "tells" me that he can't handle something, or that something is THAT important to him, I listen. He deserves respect, his needs and desires and fears are serious and he should not be expected to conform perfectly to what we as parents want. After we left KFC that day, we went to CiCi's Pizza, another buffet. The place is huge, lots of space between the buffet and the tables. It's quiet, and cooler inside than KFC. It's pizza, Jaymes #1 food. The difference in that child's posture and behavior when we walked in was incredible. He was calm, not tense and nervous. He was chattering in gibberish happily, and holding my hand. Not trying to cover his ears or escape, not whimpering.
It's all about compromise, I guess. None of us should have to bend to our mother/father/child/weird cousin from Texas. Respect vs absolute obedience, I suppose. We give a little, take a little and someplace in that in-between, we all find comfort and happiness.
I try and choose my battles wisely. If Jaymes wants to play with the cans, it's fine by me. I don't care if he makes a mess of the room he is playing in, because I'll make him help clean it up later. I don't expect perfect obedience, nor do I expect Jaymes to be able to handle situations just because we want him to. For example, months ago, we had some extra cash and decided to go to the KFC all you can eat buffet. Jason loves KFC, and I like them ok too. Sierra is a chicken fiend. But when we got inside, the problem became pretty clear, at least to me.
There was a huge line. Strike one for Jaymes. He does not handle standing in cramped crowded lines. We're working on it, because in the real world it's just a hard reality. You have to stand in line, and doing so politely and quietly is the end goal. If it had only been the line, I'd have made him muddle through it. The restaurant was tiny, they only have like 6 tables all cramped together. About the size of my dining room/kitchen. Strike two for Jaymes. He gets uncomfortable in small, crowded areas. Add in the line, and it was a miracle Jaymes was ok. At this point, I noticed his subtle (some not so subtle as well) cues to leave. He was squirming and moaning quietly, trying to make me let go of his hand and his eyes were getting that "all hell is about to break loose if mommy doesn't help me" look. Jason was getting irritated with him, and people were turning to look at him. Strike 3 for Jaymes, by way of people making mommy very uncomfortable. He can tell when I'm getting nervous, and it sets him off big time. So I told Jason that Jaymes was not going to be able to handle himself in this situation, and honestly could not blame him. Jason was upset, and had the very valid point that we as parents should not be ruled by our offspring, should not bend to Jaymes' will all the time. In a way, I agree. But this wasn't a "I don't wanna" type situation. I made the decision to leave, not based on Jaymes behavior or demands, but because I could see how anxious and stressed out he was becoming in that 2 or 3 minutes in line.
There is a fine line between picking your battles, and letting your child run your life. On the flip side, there is an equally thin line between forcing a child with a disability to do something that he isn't able to handle and teaching him to handle something. I'm not saying let the boy do whatever he wants, if he screams his head off for candy at the supermarket, there is no pity from me.
I guess it all comes down to really knowing your child. I know Jaymes well enough, I know the signs and cues he gives when he doesn't feel "ok" with something. Jason saw the KFC incident as Jaymes being a brat and ruing his favorite meal, because I don't think he can understand that there is a difference between bratty Jaymes and genuinely uncomfortable Jaymes. He needs to understand that Jaymes doesn't do things to ruin them for Jason. That's not in Jaymes' agenda. He doesn't have that sort of thought process yet. He doesn't do anything to hurt us, or ruin things for us, or to irritate us. He'll do things that he realizes will cause an amusing reaction, like poking Sierra to giggle at her annoyed little squeals. He does it because it's a game, and it's funny to him. We stop the behavior, but I never take it to heart. he isn't doing that because he enojys Sierra's unhappiness, he just likes the angry noises she makes! The KFC situation, however, was not like that. He was genuine in his discomfort, and I take that very seriously.
It gets so exhausting trying to decide which behaviors to "fight" over and which are really harmless and can be allowed to continue. I'll continue to let Jaymes play with his cans, because while it is annoying and I have no clue what is in any of those cans anymore, it's good play. The cans are satisfyingly heavy for Jaymes, they stack nicely, and they're shiny. Jason does not want me to allow this, but hopefully in time he'll understand. Having decided that the cans were not a worthwhile battle, I added a few rules to the cans to keep our sanity and make him aware of boundaries. He can only have the cans if he asks me using either "I want cans" "want cans" or simply "cans". He can only play with the bunch without labels, if it has a label, it's off limits. If the cans cause a fight between the kids, they go away. No throwing the cans. Basic stuff like that.
His diaper hoarding behavior was one that we could not allow. Yes, it's fun for him, but diapers are expensive and we go through a lot of them. They aren't toys. I put a lock on the diaper cabinet, and we're good so long as I remember to lock it every time.
The current issue is one I haven't decided about yet. To me, it's not worth the incredible explosion that will come of denying him his fun. He's got a plastic box of Thomas the Train tracks, and he pours the whole mess out onto the couch and floor, and either snuggles with it on the couch or builds long tracks all over the house. The mess is a minor thing for me, kids play areas should be messy while play is going on, I think. It's the obsessive nature of it that I'm not sure about. I don't know that we want to encourage hours of repetitive play like this. But he is so happy, quiet, and serene while he builds his track. it's something that really soothes him.
The problem comes in with Sierra. She sees all this train, and wants to play. Jaymes uses her toys, no reason she shouldn't be able to have one piece of train to play with. He doesn't even use the trains, just builds track. But when Sierra takes a train, he chases her down if I'm not there to stop it right away. He goes hysterical, screaming, hitting, kicking and pushing Sierra. To her credit, Si-Si has some fast little legs! I have not found a way to let Sierra play without this huge fight between them. Jaymes views it as "this is MY stuff, back the hell off" and Sierra views it as "Well you're wearing MY pink blanket and stealing toys from MY room, why can't I play?"
It isn't fair to Sierra that she can't touch the trains. Jaymes makes everything his, but the trains are sacred. Tried getting Sierra her own, doesn't matter. I can see Jaymes' side of it too. In his mind those are his, and he likes them lined up just so. Her messing up his lines and patterns is extremely upsetting to Jaymes.
So the question is, do I get rid of the train? Jaymes would be devastated. Do I hide it and only let him play at certain times, like at Sierra's nap time? Do I leave it alone and continue to just try to manage the fights as they occur? Jason wants to just toss the trains, and I don't feel like that's fair. Jaymes loves those things, and so little keeps his attention the way these do.
Sometimes it's so easy. At Walmart, Jaymes can sit in the cart or stand. I would prefer he sit rather than stand, but standing is a better alternative than him shrieking and throwing himself out of said cart. Not a hard choice to make there.
Meal time is a battle worth fighting, and thanks to that mindset, Jaymes eats very well. It's still hard to get him to sit though. Rather than ruin mealtimes altogether by forcing him to sit in his chair and cause an uproar, I let him sit on the floor or on my lap, as long as he's sitting quietly and eating.
In many ways yes, we do bend our lives to suit Jaymes. I respect him and when he "tells" me that he can't handle something, or that something is THAT important to him, I listen. He deserves respect, his needs and desires and fears are serious and he should not be expected to conform perfectly to what we as parents want. After we left KFC that day, we went to CiCi's Pizza, another buffet. The place is huge, lots of space between the buffet and the tables. It's quiet, and cooler inside than KFC. It's pizza, Jaymes #1 food. The difference in that child's posture and behavior when we walked in was incredible. He was calm, not tense and nervous. He was chattering in gibberish happily, and holding my hand. Not trying to cover his ears or escape, not whimpering.
It's all about compromise, I guess. None of us should have to bend to our mother/father/child/weird cousin from Texas. Respect vs absolute obedience, I suppose. We give a little, take a little and someplace in that in-between, we all find comfort and happiness.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I hate the Special Olympics jokes
People tell them constantly on the forums: "This thread/fight between so and so is like the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retard." Why? Some sites have even gone so far as to add pics of peoples kids, to illustrate the point. That's just sick, in my opinion. People think I'm a bitch on the boards because I go after them for those jokes, but to me.. I dunno. Jaymes is autistic, different thing... I have no personal stake. It just bothers me.
Anyway, click the link and check out this site. It's got a good message.
Anyway, click the link and check out this site. It's got a good message.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Too busy to blog?
-gasp-
No, not so much anymore, don't worry! In fact, I even have the next couple hours to blog, if I so desire. Jason took the kids out to do some errands (yes, he's doing errands!!!) and drop our car payment off at my mom's. I wanted to take the kids to the Children's Museum today, but I'm having trouble breathing because of my chest cold/bronchitis/pneumonia or whatever the heck it is. Usually I'm good at long as I don't do a lot of walking around or heavy movement or talk much but today I'm lightheaded and woozy just sitting around. Talking on the phone with my sister last night kind of brought it on worse I think, we were on for like 30 minutes and I was hacking up a lung by the end of it. I'm going to give it a few more days then go to a walk in clinic if it doesn't improve. Weirdly enough, I kind of have trouble discerning whether what I'm feeling is breathlessness (is that a word?) or nausea and a headache. Does that make sense? When I can't breathe well, I get nauseous so it's sometimes hard to tell which came first. I know, I'm strange.
I have this loooong To-Do list in my head, and it is making me insane. I keep the gigantic To-Do lists, and kill myself with guilt for not following through with at the very least writing the list down. Some of the To-Do list is very important, such as Jaymes' SSI review packet. some, not so much, like trying to make Don't Bite The Dog T-Shirts. Who would wear them anyway? Oh, I would! And Jaymes! And Sierra! There's another thing on the To-Do list: I need to learn how to make my site (not the blog, the website) show up higher in autism related searches on search engines. I need to do this in such as way that it doesn't cost me anything, as I pay for that site out of pocket. Ok, it's only $20 a month, but still! I get barely any traffic on that site, I think 2 this month and 8 last month... Vs the thousands on the blog! Come on guys, at least go over there and click the ads to support the site!
Also on the To-Do list is adding more video on the Autism Video Library on the site. I don't have much and it looks cluttered. I'm not sure I really like Go-Daddy's Website Tonight. It's a site builder that is idiot proof (ie Amber proof) but it lacks a lot of functions that I would like. I like to be able to drag and drop items, rather than having set areas on each page layout that can be coded in HTML. My HTML is less than impressive, so I need stoopid proof.
I'm also perpetually adding to the Autism Resources By State listing. It would be nice if people shared theirs (yes, you can do so anonymously if you wish!) so I knew I was getting the ones that people are actually using and recommending... But in the end, it'll fill out to be a nice fat pile of information! I also added a "fun on the web" section, with fun free games that Jaymes likes to play. I actually need to add one, I discovered Mouse Trial, a really useful tool for working with Jaymes. Despite having not quite professional art work (cute though!), it really is a lot like the DTT software I've seen other places. And it's free to try, and cheap to buy. I want to buy it for him at some point. The only real problem with it is, it's an Australian site, meaning Aussie accents. No offense to you Aussies, it's just that Jaymes doesn't seem to recognize the words in that accent. The program will say "click red square" and he'll be totally confused, but the minute I say "touch red square" he does it right away. I have to click for him, I have a laptop with a trackpad and he's really not at a point of being able to understand how to use it. But it's amazing, we went through a bunch of categories (foods, clothing, parts of the bathroom, animals) and 8/10 tries he got it right. He also make my new lappytop sticky with whatever yuck was on his little fingers, but that's ok.
So in between hacking up a lung, obsessing over my To-Do list, and my usual cleaning/playing with kids/going to therapy/etc I've been working very hard with Jaymes on his eating. This has been one of the main focuses in OT, and really the most important to me. It had been that Jaymes would ONKY eat chicken nuggets and fries, or mac n cheese or pizza. Now, the OT (and myself at home) have gotten him to at least try the following:
Probably more that elude me right now. Anyway, once the OT got him going, it's been incredible! Now, he only eats if i sit right there with him, and most of the time I have to feed him like a baby... But he's eating, he's cleaning his plate and trying new things. You can't beat that! He does use his fork some at home, but I cannot figure out how to set his hands up like he's supposed to hold the fork (he just grabs it like a baby grabs a crayon in it's fist) so I just focus on him trying things and eating and making it a big fun game. Unfortunately, though we've had great success, it can't really be treated like a game, and it's not really fun to Jaymes. He treats it as a serious, get down to business type thing, once he's done giggling madly and flailing around. No complaints here, for the time being. In my mind, the first step is trying things, after that he can learn to do it himself and hold the fork properly. I'm afraid to try and correct his grasp, because if I have it wrong, I'll teach it wrong, and it will have only taught him the wrong way to do something. Best leave it to the professionals, I guess.
I don't know what to think about the Clonidine. He has been a lot less angry at home, much more serene and content to watch Elmo and build his train tracks all over the house. However, his obsessive behaviors have escalated to the point that if Sierra takes on piece of track, or a train, he will chase her down and take her down to get it back. The fact that she has ONE piece out of a zillion? Doesn't matter. it's HIS piece. I've tried to make him share, but it becomes a huge blowup. I feel bad for Sierra, who only wants to play but cannot do so without being attacked. He doesn't hurt her, of course, because I'm right there to stop it but if I weren't right there...
Jason wants to take away Jaymes trains entirely. He was all "I'm throwing these away!" last night and I could have strangled him. First off, that's a good $300 worth of overpriced, brand name, Thomas the Train crap. No way in hell are you throwing that away! What a waste that would be. The other thing is that though the train stuff does cause trouble, he really loves it. He builds that track for hours, yesterday he made a giant figure 8 (almost) that went from the kitchen to the living room. He doesn't really use the trains like other kids (who build the track then push the trains along), he prefers to take one engine and roll it until the end of the track, where he adds another length of track and pushes the engine on. Kind of like how they used to build railroad in the old days, piece by piece, pulling everyone and everything along and stopping the train to lay track. The train stuff goes nowhere.
His other big obsessive thing is cans. Like from the pantry. He loves cans. He loves to stack them, to organize them into circles or snake shapes, or just to line them up or lay on top of his pile like a dragon guarding it's treasure. The can thing doesn't really bother me, although he does tend to drop them on his toes then come crying to me, then go back and do it all over again... But it drives Jason nuts and he has a fit over it everytime. It's not hurting anything, I think... But then of course, Sierra had to start ripping off labels so we have all these cans with god only knows what inside. -Warning, Amber's going off on a tangent- One day I was looking desperately for refried beans for a mexican burrito (nom nom nom), and I started shaking the unlabeled cans. First one felt like beans. And it was. Green beans. Damn. Next one was ravioli. Next another ravioli. Then a cranberry sauce. Finally, I did find the refried beans. So there are baggies of ravioli, green beans, and a cranberry sauce in the fridge. Rotten children. I can't really defend the can thing to Jason anymore, because of Sierra's unlabeling. We don't have the spare cash to waste food, and opening it before we want it seems a waste. But Jaymes' therapists say let him enjoy his cans, it's good for him. I agree. Jason says we shouldn't have to bend our lives to Jaymes will, and in a way I both agree and disagree. We do have to change big parts of our lives for Jaymes. I'm fine with this, Jason... Not so much. Maybe I do let Jaymes control us too much, I try to set boundaries and keep him out of too much trouble, but I just don't see the problem with him playing with cans. I've tried giving him blocks, he won't play with them at home. He just puts them into walmart bags and carries them around or sits on them on the couch and won't let Sierra play. At least with the cans he builds and engages in real play. Why should I have to take that away from him? The down side- people look at me like I'm insane if somehow the subject of Jaymes playing with cans comes into the conversation. What, don't everyones kids play with cans of soup and peaches and green beans and raviolis? Meh.
One obsessive/hoarding behavior I do NOT let him engage in is diaper hoarding. If he sees a pack of diapers, or the diaper cabinet is left unlatched, he will take every diaper out and make himself a nest on the couch with them. Wrinkling them and getting dog hair on them and ripping off side tabs as he goes. That's money, so it can't happen. I feel bad, but there do have to be some limits.
We had been doing really well with the no having fits at home thing, until yesterday. Don't know why, but he came home from school, got in the house, and went ballistic when I made him stop climbing the counters. He's like a monkey, up and down and all over the cupboards. I haven't installed latches on EVERY single one, that would be excessive (especially in a house we do not own yet) and he needs to learn that climbing on the counter is dangerous, and will result in immediate consequences. the consequence part is hard though. I make him sit in a chair in the middle of the room. Sometimes he laughs the whole 4 minutes, sometimes he screams and wails and bangs his head on it, sometimes he throws himself off it onto the floor head first. He gave himself some hefty bruises yesterday. I don't know how he manages it, but he seems to get a new bruise every day. Last night, at Walmart, he picked up the front foldy part of the shopping cart (the part that hinges forward so it can be attached to other carts in a long line) and was repeatedly smashing it down on his own legs. I stopped him in midswing the 3rd time, but he'd already gotten himself good.
Do they make iron suits for accident/not so accidental prone 5 year olds? Nah, he'd bruise himself inside one of those somehow. The boy is really a disaster waiting to happen. Lately, he's been so much in lala land that he can't walk right. We were walking home from the bus stop, and he just fell. No rocks, no loose shoelace, just fell over nothing and landed HARD on his forhead. Yep, he's got a bruise there too. The school must wonder about him. I sure hope they know he's a little bruise waiting to happen and that I'm not bruising him! He'll walk right into a wall, or a pole, or into a pothole if you don't steer him very carefully. It's not that he can't walk well, it's that between being totally spaced out, and having kinda bad balance to begin with, he's a ticking timebomb of falling/ramming/head whacking disaster. Poor kid.
It's cold as anything, Batty remains lame and unrideable, and the dogs have no desire to go outside in the freezing nasty winteryness that is January in NC. Me neither.
Anyway, if you read through all my rambling (did I ever get back to the point? What was the point? Hmm) cookies to you! I'm off to take a hot shower and have some peppermint green tea with honey. I leave you with these new videos of Jaymes eating.. and stimming, not eating. Or being odd. As the case may be. Take from them what you will.
No, not so much anymore, don't worry! In fact, I even have the next couple hours to blog, if I so desire. Jason took the kids out to do some errands (yes, he's doing errands!!!) and drop our car payment off at my mom's. I wanted to take the kids to the Children's Museum today, but I'm having trouble breathing because of my chest cold/bronchitis/pneumonia or whatever the heck it is. Usually I'm good at long as I don't do a lot of walking around or heavy movement or talk much but today I'm lightheaded and woozy just sitting around. Talking on the phone with my sister last night kind of brought it on worse I think, we were on for like 30 minutes and I was hacking up a lung by the end of it. I'm going to give it a few more days then go to a walk in clinic if it doesn't improve. Weirdly enough, I kind of have trouble discerning whether what I'm feeling is breathlessness (is that a word?) or nausea and a headache. Does that make sense? When I can't breathe well, I get nauseous so it's sometimes hard to tell which came first. I know, I'm strange.
I have this loooong To-Do list in my head, and it is making me insane. I keep the gigantic To-Do lists, and kill myself with guilt for not following through with at the very least writing the list down. Some of the To-Do list is very important, such as Jaymes' SSI review packet. some, not so much, like trying to make Don't Bite The Dog T-Shirts. Who would wear them anyway? Oh, I would! And Jaymes! And Sierra! There's another thing on the To-Do list: I need to learn how to make my site (not the blog, the website) show up higher in autism related searches on search engines. I need to do this in such as way that it doesn't cost me anything, as I pay for that site out of pocket. Ok, it's only $20 a month, but still! I get barely any traffic on that site, I think 2 this month and 8 last month... Vs the thousands on the blog! Come on guys, at least go over there and click the ads to support the site!
Also on the To-Do list is adding more video on the Autism Video Library on the site. I don't have much and it looks cluttered. I'm not sure I really like Go-Daddy's Website Tonight. It's a site builder that is idiot proof (ie Amber proof) but it lacks a lot of functions that I would like. I like to be able to drag and drop items, rather than having set areas on each page layout that can be coded in HTML. My HTML is less than impressive, so I need stoopid proof.
I'm also perpetually adding to the Autism Resources By State listing. It would be nice if people shared theirs (yes, you can do so anonymously if you wish!) so I knew I was getting the ones that people are actually using and recommending... But in the end, it'll fill out to be a nice fat pile of information! I also added a "fun on the web" section, with fun free games that Jaymes likes to play. I actually need to add one, I discovered Mouse Trial, a really useful tool for working with Jaymes. Despite having not quite professional art work (cute though!), it really is a lot like the DTT software I've seen other places. And it's free to try, and cheap to buy. I want to buy it for him at some point. The only real problem with it is, it's an Australian site, meaning Aussie accents. No offense to you Aussies, it's just that Jaymes doesn't seem to recognize the words in that accent. The program will say "click red square" and he'll be totally confused, but the minute I say "touch red square" he does it right away. I have to click for him, I have a laptop with a trackpad and he's really not at a point of being able to understand how to use it. But it's amazing, we went through a bunch of categories (foods, clothing, parts of the bathroom, animals) and 8/10 tries he got it right. He also make my new lappytop sticky with whatever yuck was on his little fingers, but that's ok.
So in between hacking up a lung, obsessing over my To-Do list, and my usual cleaning/playing with kids/going to therapy/etc I've been working very hard with Jaymes on his eating. This has been one of the main focuses in OT, and really the most important to me. It had been that Jaymes would ONKY eat chicken nuggets and fries, or mac n cheese or pizza. Now, the OT (and myself at home) have gotten him to at least try the following:
- Green beans
- Peas
- Carrots
- Bananas
- Pasta
- Hot Dog
- Fish (this one was last night and I was thrilled!!!)
- BBQ chicken
- Baked beans
- Apples
- Pumpkin pie
- Mashed potatoes
- Ravioli
Probably more that elude me right now. Anyway, once the OT got him going, it's been incredible! Now, he only eats if i sit right there with him, and most of the time I have to feed him like a baby... But he's eating, he's cleaning his plate and trying new things. You can't beat that! He does use his fork some at home, but I cannot figure out how to set his hands up like he's supposed to hold the fork (he just grabs it like a baby grabs a crayon in it's fist) so I just focus on him trying things and eating and making it a big fun game. Unfortunately, though we've had great success, it can't really be treated like a game, and it's not really fun to Jaymes. He treats it as a serious, get down to business type thing, once he's done giggling madly and flailing around. No complaints here, for the time being. In my mind, the first step is trying things, after that he can learn to do it himself and hold the fork properly. I'm afraid to try and correct his grasp, because if I have it wrong, I'll teach it wrong, and it will have only taught him the wrong way to do something. Best leave it to the professionals, I guess.
I don't know what to think about the Clonidine. He has been a lot less angry at home, much more serene and content to watch Elmo and build his train tracks all over the house. However, his obsessive behaviors have escalated to the point that if Sierra takes on piece of track, or a train, he will chase her down and take her down to get it back. The fact that she has ONE piece out of a zillion? Doesn't matter. it's HIS piece. I've tried to make him share, but it becomes a huge blowup. I feel bad for Sierra, who only wants to play but cannot do so without being attacked. He doesn't hurt her, of course, because I'm right there to stop it but if I weren't right there...
Jason wants to take away Jaymes trains entirely. He was all "I'm throwing these away!" last night and I could have strangled him. First off, that's a good $300 worth of overpriced, brand name, Thomas the Train crap. No way in hell are you throwing that away! What a waste that would be. The other thing is that though the train stuff does cause trouble, he really loves it. He builds that track for hours, yesterday he made a giant figure 8 (almost) that went from the kitchen to the living room. He doesn't really use the trains like other kids (who build the track then push the trains along), he prefers to take one engine and roll it until the end of the track, where he adds another length of track and pushes the engine on. Kind of like how they used to build railroad in the old days, piece by piece, pulling everyone and everything along and stopping the train to lay track. The train stuff goes nowhere.
His other big obsessive thing is cans. Like from the pantry. He loves cans. He loves to stack them, to organize them into circles or snake shapes, or just to line them up or lay on top of his pile like a dragon guarding it's treasure. The can thing doesn't really bother me, although he does tend to drop them on his toes then come crying to me, then go back and do it all over again... But it drives Jason nuts and he has a fit over it everytime. It's not hurting anything, I think... But then of course, Sierra had to start ripping off labels so we have all these cans with god only knows what inside. -Warning, Amber's going off on a tangent- One day I was looking desperately for refried beans for a mexican burrito (nom nom nom), and I started shaking the unlabeled cans. First one felt like beans. And it was. Green beans. Damn. Next one was ravioli. Next another ravioli. Then a cranberry sauce. Finally, I did find the refried beans. So there are baggies of ravioli, green beans, and a cranberry sauce in the fridge. Rotten children. I can't really defend the can thing to Jason anymore, because of Sierra's unlabeling. We don't have the spare cash to waste food, and opening it before we want it seems a waste. But Jaymes' therapists say let him enjoy his cans, it's good for him. I agree. Jason says we shouldn't have to bend our lives to Jaymes will, and in a way I both agree and disagree. We do have to change big parts of our lives for Jaymes. I'm fine with this, Jason... Not so much. Maybe I do let Jaymes control us too much, I try to set boundaries and keep him out of too much trouble, but I just don't see the problem with him playing with cans. I've tried giving him blocks, he won't play with them at home. He just puts them into walmart bags and carries them around or sits on them on the couch and won't let Sierra play. At least with the cans he builds and engages in real play. Why should I have to take that away from him? The down side- people look at me like I'm insane if somehow the subject of Jaymes playing with cans comes into the conversation. What, don't everyones kids play with cans of soup and peaches and green beans and raviolis? Meh.
One obsessive/hoarding behavior I do NOT let him engage in is diaper hoarding. If he sees a pack of diapers, or the diaper cabinet is left unlatched, he will take every diaper out and make himself a nest on the couch with them. Wrinkling them and getting dog hair on them and ripping off side tabs as he goes. That's money, so it can't happen. I feel bad, but there do have to be some limits.
We had been doing really well with the no having fits at home thing, until yesterday. Don't know why, but he came home from school, got in the house, and went ballistic when I made him stop climbing the counters. He's like a monkey, up and down and all over the cupboards. I haven't installed latches on EVERY single one, that would be excessive (especially in a house we do not own yet) and he needs to learn that climbing on the counter is dangerous, and will result in immediate consequences. the consequence part is hard though. I make him sit in a chair in the middle of the room. Sometimes he laughs the whole 4 minutes, sometimes he screams and wails and bangs his head on it, sometimes he throws himself off it onto the floor head first. He gave himself some hefty bruises yesterday. I don't know how he manages it, but he seems to get a new bruise every day. Last night, at Walmart, he picked up the front foldy part of the shopping cart (the part that hinges forward so it can be attached to other carts in a long line) and was repeatedly smashing it down on his own legs. I stopped him in midswing the 3rd time, but he'd already gotten himself good.
Do they make iron suits for accident/not so accidental prone 5 year olds? Nah, he'd bruise himself inside one of those somehow. The boy is really a disaster waiting to happen. Lately, he's been so much in lala land that he can't walk right. We were walking home from the bus stop, and he just fell. No rocks, no loose shoelace, just fell over nothing and landed HARD on his forhead. Yep, he's got a bruise there too. The school must wonder about him. I sure hope they know he's a little bruise waiting to happen and that I'm not bruising him! He'll walk right into a wall, or a pole, or into a pothole if you don't steer him very carefully. It's not that he can't walk well, it's that between being totally spaced out, and having kinda bad balance to begin with, he's a ticking timebomb of falling/ramming/head whacking disaster. Poor kid.
It's cold as anything, Batty remains lame and unrideable, and the dogs have no desire to go outside in the freezing nasty winteryness that is January in NC. Me neither.
Anyway, if you read through all my rambling (did I ever get back to the point? What was the point? Hmm) cookies to you! I'm off to take a hot shower and have some peppermint green tea with honey. I leave you with these new videos of Jaymes eating.. and stimming, not eating. Or being odd. As the case may be. Take from them what you will.
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