Time to do some cooking with our kids!

This article has me feeling ambitious, so Jaymes and I are going to cook today. I have not decided what we'll cook, but I think it will involved peanut butter. Wish us luck, safety, and a controlled level of mess!

GFCF Cooking Together: Learning Can be Fun!

AADigest Exclusive

Reprinted with permission from a 2011 column on “GFCF Cooking Together with Kids” offered by the Autism Asperger’s Digest magazine. This selection is featured in the July/August 2011 issue. Find previous GFCF Cooking Together articles at the Article Library page of the AADigest website, www.AutismDigest.com.

The kitchen is a natural learning environment. From organizing ingredients, to creating lists, and teaching basic math concepts, it’s not hard to imagine turning time spent cooking together into an incredibly fun learning experience.

Lay the Foundation

While any time spent cooking together can become a learning opportunity, do not introduce your child to cooking for the sole purpose of teaching. The key word is “fun!” Your child needs to be comfortable being together in the kitchen with you first, so if you haven’t begun the process, take steps to gradually introduce him to food, cooking, and sharing time in the kitchen. (Check out our earlier GFCF Cooking Together articles for some great tips!)

Don’t Forget the Food

It sounds silly to say “don’t forget the food,” but the point is simply this: There is no greater motivation to learn in the kitchen than for the end product to be the reward. This means making sure you choose foods your child loves to eat.

Basic Skills

One of the best things about using cooking to teach skills to our children with autism, is that it’s so easy to tailor the information and level of difficulty to meet their needs.

· Organization and Sequencing. Write each step of the recipe on a separate card, or list them on a dry erase board in simple terms so you and your child have a visual sequence of steps to follow. Make a list of ingredients and utensils you will need, then collect them and organize everything on the counter in the order in which it will be used. The extent of your child’s participation depends entirely on her ability and comfort level in the kitchen. If necessary, begin by asking her to find just one utensil and make it her “assigned” utensil. For example, her utensil could be a spoon and when that step is reached in the recipe, she has responsibility for stirring. Put a star next to the steps that she will complete.

· Sharing Together. This is a great time to implement strategies like turn taking and synchronizing actions together. Examples might be: “I’ll pour this, then you’ll pour that,” “I’ll get the mixing bowl, you get the spoon,” or “I’ll add eggs while you stir.”

· Verbal Communication. Keep a happy, chatty conversation going, even if you’re delivering a monologue. Remember that the idea is for you to model the steps and teach while you’re in the cooking process, whether your child is watching or actively participating. Every now and then ask a simple question and give him sufficient time to respond.

· Descriptive Language. While you’re talking, use as much descriptive language as possible to define colors, textures, tastes, and smell. Pause to let her experience and absorb the similarities and differences in ingredients.

Math in the Kitchen

Could there be a better place to teach essential math than the kitchen? This is the perfect opportunity to give real-world substance to abstract concepts. Depending on your child’s academic level, you can work fractions, measurements, addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and even weight (if you have a kitchen scale) into any simple recipe.

· Counting. Count the number of times you stir, every time you add an ingredient, the number of steps in the recipe, the number of ingredients, etc. Make it a game by taking turns counting or by pretending you can’t remember the next number so your child can pitch in and help.

· Double the Recipe. Create the opportunity to teach addition or multiplication by doubling the recipe. Your child can count out loud, and physically measure and pour each ingredient twice, which gives you multiples chances to reinforce the concept. Make it more complicated by increasing the recipe by 1 1/2.

· Reduce the Recipe. On the flip side, teach subtraction or division by cutting the recipe in half.

· Fractions. Measure one cup of flour (or other ingredient), then measure again using half cup, third cup, and quarter cup measures. Talk about how they’re different. Demonstrate that you can pour two half-cup measures into one cup to equal the same amount. Another great visual method is to choose a food item that your child likes, whether several carrots or slices of bread, then lay one item out whole, cut another one in half and place it under the whole one, cut another one in thirds and place it directly underneath, etc.

TIP: You’ll need more than one set of measuring cups to show the relationships. You’ll need two half cups, three third cups, and four quarter cups.

Shapes, Sorting and Fine Motor Skills

Scholastic.com had a great lesson plan for teaching shapes and sorting. Complete directions can be found by going to their web site and searching for “fruit-shape kebabs,” but here’s the idea:

· Cut different fruits into shapes. Use any type of fresh or canned fruit and cut each one into a variety of shapes. For optimum sorting, you’ll need enough of the fruit to cut each one into the same shapes. Ultimately, the fruit will be made into kebabs, so plan to have enough pieces cut to make several kebabs.

· Sort by type of fruit. Talk about their different colors, textures, tastes and uses in cooking.

· Sort by shape. This gives you the opportunity to teach different shapes. You can also compare the cut shapes to the original shape of the fruit.

· Separate the fruit into piles. Decide how many kebabs you’re making and create a pile of fruit for each one. Count as you divide the fruit into separate piles.

· Slide each pile of fruit onto a bamboo skewer to make kebabs. Be careful about safety issues if the skewers have sharp points, but if it’s appropriate for your child, placing fruit on the skewer helps fine motor skills.

· Enjoy the snack! Serve with a GFCF yogurt for dipping, sprinkled with some raw sugar on top. De-licious!

Spending time in the kitchen together offers all sorts of opportunities for learning, from academics like math, history (origins of food), or geography (when using ethnic foods), to working on sensory issues or social skills. The key here – and everywhere – is to make learning fun for the child!

Read More Online! Our companion e-article (available only to subscribers during July & August) focuses on converting recipes to GFCF. Plus, look for a delicious, nutritious warm-weather recipe to try out with your child. www.AutismDigest.com

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Copyright © 2011 Autism Asperger’s Digest. All Rights Reserved.

Summertime Crazies and Camp Royall Photos

I’ve been spending a lot of time outside, attempting to tire my children out in time for the nap that I would love to one day get to take around 2-3pm on a hot summer day. Unfortunately, my success has been limited- to tiring myself out and energizing the little ones even further!

I’ve gotten Sierra into feeding Rocket, so she goes out every morning and gets hay for him, then goes off to do her own thing. Jaymes has discovered the joy of picking veggies out of the garden- unfortunately, his discovery has not gone as far as understanding that it is preferable to just pull a pepper off the plant rather than picking the entire plant out of the ground, dunking it in water, and cramming it into a plastic bucket filled with muddy slime. I have to give the boy credit though, technically he DID plant it…

Jaymes is missing summer camp still. I feel so bad for him, I imagine it has to be very hard to spend a week at the coolest camp in NC, where he’s a VIP with adoring fans then get stuck coming back home to our less than thrilling life.

It was so funny, when we dropped him off, I was all sad and wanting to linger with him. He turned, looked at me, and said “byeeee!” and tried to shove me out the door. I took the hint. He had zero homesickness during his time at camp- in fact he repeatedly told his counselor that he was staying and mommy needed to stay home. I’m not offended; I wouldn’t want to go home either!

He really had the time of his life at camp. It was totally worth the money and the long drive. He had his own counselor, his own room, and all the fun activities you can think of. Kiddo got to swim THREE times a day, go on the zip line, make s’mores, play in the sand, dress up in funky wigs… He got to go boating, fishing, and they even have the most incredibly cool sensory room with the whole bubble column and fiber optic dangly light deals. VERY nice.

He did art work, which he covered the door of his room with. When we were leaving with his bags packed, I asked him if he wanted to take them and he was very adamant that they stay on the door for future campers to enjoy. Silly boy.

His counselor did detailed (and I mean DETAILED) notes twice a day (I think), and she was really funny. I had a great time reading those notes. There were several “laugh out loud” moments for sure.

Picking him up was not exactly the joyous reunion I’d been hoping for. This was the longest I have ever been away from my little man, and by the time we arrived to get him, I was really eager to snuggle him. He is, after all, my baby. Kids trickled in, most of them running towards their parents, where hugs and kisses were exchanged. One little blonde boy saw his mom, and bolted the opposite direction. In hindsight, this was an omen. Jaymes came in toward the end of the stream of children. The minute he set eyes on me, he started screaming. “Mommy go home! Jaymes stay at camp!” It broke my heart, because I knew ahead of time he would have a hard time coming back home. I felt so bad for being the one to drag him back to boring old life, after s much fun at camp.

He pretty much screamed and squirmed and fussed through the whole talent show portion of things, although he did stop long enough to do his talent, which was making a picture with glue and glitter. It was cute, at least right up until the point it was time for him to be done, and they dragged the little table back. Jaymes took off after the table, grabbed his wet picture and ran back to me. He was upset still about knowing he had to leave, and when he is upset he likes to take things he’s made (usually drawings that he cares about) and shred or otherwise mutilate them, then cry about it like I did it. In this case, he took one hand and smeared the wet glittery glue across the page, then grabbed my arm (which was still looking pretty nasty due to a really gross bacterial infection that I don’t even know how I got) and rubbed glitter into the oozing blisters on my arm. That one did not feel so good, but my blistery, nasty arm looked rather festive. Within about two seconds, I was head to toe glitter, but again, festive. So it was all good.

It took Jaymes a couple days to calm down and accept that he was home. Once he was ok with that, I started noticing how pleasant he was being, and how nicely he was talking. He told me all about camp, and asked when he could go back. I promised him I’d do as much as possible to get him in next year- I sure hope I can make good on that.

Camp Royall is amazing. I have never met a group of people as tolerant, accepting, kind, generous, and enthusiastic as these folks. The camp is beautiful; the facilities are super fun, clean and safe, and if you were to wander upon it, you would not know it was an autism-specific camp. I am so glad that Jaymes got to have this wonderful experience, for the first time in his life he went somewhere that he was just a normal kid, doing normal summer camp things. That is priceless.

I missed him the entire week, the house just felt so empty without Jaymes. I did enjoy sleeping in every day though, rather than being jolted awake by the sound of Jaymes pounding, kicking, and slamming his bedroom door! Jason really needed the break, he finally got to relax and stop freaking out over every little thing.

Sierra had the time of her life. The whole week was all about Sierra. We took her to her very first movie; she chose Green Lantern and really enjoyed it. We bought a big bag of popcorn, and Sierra made it hers. During most of the movie she had the top half of her body buried in the bag until she munched herself into a food coma and passed out on my lap. She was perfect- quiet, still, enjoyed the movie. We made trips to places she loves, like the mall and the make-your-own-sundae frozen yogurt place. We played outside, and went to the playground. She really, really had a fun week. Sometimes we have to get a break from autism- sometimes we all just need to be people, and Sierra is no exception. She really needed her special “vacation” week.

NC folks, if ever you’re looking for a great camp for your kids on the spectrum, Camp Royall is the place to go.

Here, have another great article!

Sensory Savvy Parenting!
By Britt Collins, M.S., OTR/L

Reprinted with permission from a featured article that appears in the just-released July/August issue of Autism Asperger’s Digest magazine. Learn more, www.AutismDigest.com.


Your first child. What an exciting, wonderful, and anxious time it is! When you found out you were pregnant, you probably read stacks of baby books, and read even more as your baby grew into a toddler. When you discovered your child was on the autism spectrum, you undoubtedly searched out any and every book you could find that would help you understand your child better.

Along the way you may – or may not – have read about sensory processing disorder (SPD) or sensory processing problems in spectrum kids. Recent studies report that approximately 5-10% of all children experience sensory symptoms significant enough to affect their everyday life functions. Within the ASD population that number can be as high as 95%! (Tomchek, 2007) Sensory issues may have resonated with you to some degree; you grasped what sensory sensitivities might feel like to your child. But, noticing them – before your child is in sensory overload – well, perhaps you’re a little lost there. No worries! I’m here to help you become a more sensory savvy parent!Jackie Olson (a mom) and I co-wrote Sensory Parenting: From Newborns to Toddlers(Sensory World, 2010)to reach out to new and pregnant moms with information about our sensory systems and how they work. For many new parents, this is foreign territory!

So, let’s assume you know the basics: there’s not five senses (touch, taste, hearing, smell, sight) but seven (add in vestibular and proprioception) and some experts say there are lots more! Our kids can be hypo (under) sensitive or hyper (over) sensitive in any area. And, that sensitivity level can vary sense to sense and day to day, or even hour to hour depending on the conditions at hand! You understand this is biology at work within your child: it’s not something he can control at will. And, that sensory issues cause very real problems in your child’s life that interfere tremendously with her ability to be calm, focused, attentive, and happy.

But - how do you know when your child is in sensory overload? Are there early warning signs, behaviors to look for that tell you something is amiss? Yes there are, and as a parent you have to play detective to figure out your child’s specific sensory sensitivities and recognize the red flags. Your goal is to help your child avoid sensory overload (it’s no fun!) or offer strategies to calm down afterwards.

I believe almost everyone has some sort of sensory issue. Maybe you buy tag-less t-shirts because the tag drives you crazy, or you prefer a certain type of comfortable clothing (I prefer anything cozy, like a large sweatshirt and warm socks). It’s really irritating when strangers keep bumping into you in a crowded subway, and you never go to loud concerts because they hurt your ears. Rides at Disneyland that go up and down or round and round? Forget it; you’d be nauseous in under a minute! All that is sensory based.

And so is the flip side. You love deep pressure massage; it’s so calming to your system. You go to the gym to release the frustrations of the day. You relax in a warm bath, scented with your favorite aromatherapy products – ah, how good they make you feel! And there’s nothing better than the smooth, creamy texture of good ice cream. That’s all sensory-based, too!

I’ve met scores of parents who start to realize their own sensory issues when they begin to educate themselves about their children’s sensory challenges. When they feel, first hand, what it’s like, they start better understanding what their child may be experiencing on a daily basis when the world is too loud, too bright, too fast – too intense!

Everyday sensory sensitivities become a problem when we are so affected by them we can no longer function as we should. This is what happens with our kids, and they express this through their behavior – the only way they know how to tell us! And yet, many parents attribute behavior problems to “something else” and don’t realize how much of an impact sensory issues have. They put their children in uncomfortable situations every day: the grocery store, the mall, the playground, loud birthday parties, restaurants, and the like – and they expect the kids to “behave.” More often than not these situations are way too overwhelming and a meltdown or shut down results.

As a sensory savvy parent you learn to look for the signs of sensory overload. Every child is different and you’ll need to learn to read your own child’s warning signs. That said,let me give you some things to look for. If your child covers her ears, she is more than likely trying to shut out disturbing auditory sounds. If he blinks a lot, avertshis eyes, or his eyes water frequently, he could be bothered by too-bright lights (to him!) or the sun. If she pushes away certain foods, and you notice a pattern (they’re all soft or all crunchy) it’s probably a tactile issue. As sensory overload approaches, kids can have different reactions. She may begin to get quiet or disengage if before she was talking to you. You may notice he’s starting to verbally stim or fidget or whine, or grind his teeth. All of these things can be signs of sensory stress. Other signs you might notice:
• singing or talking really loudly to drown out other uncomfortable sounds
• crying or screaming because something touching her doesn’t feel right or hurts
• pulling away from you because he’s scared or anxious to go where you want him to. He may remember last time, when someone dropped a jar of pickles on the floor and the smell was so bad.

You may be wondering: is it all sensory related or is some of it just plain “behavior?” Good question! The difference between sensory and behavior is an article in itself, but you can look for cues from your child and the environment to know what’s what. Is he throwing a tantrum because you told him he cannot have ice cream for breakfast? That’s behavior. Or is it because you washed his favorite shirt with a new detergent and now it smells terrible? That’s sensory. Is she shutting down because you’re asking her to write her spelling words (behavior)? Or is it because you’re frying fish for dinner in the kitchen, the smell makes her gag, and she can’t focus on the task (sensory)? If it’s sensory, remember your child can’t control this – so you need to be proactive, stop and think about what’s going on and what might be causing the behavior. If it’s a sensory issue, it’s your job to step in and help your child. That means you change your behavior and adapt the environment to alleviate your child’s sensory issue at hand and help her regain sensory equilibrium.

Sometimes sensory issues are obvious; at other times they’re not. I work with a child who has impaired hearing. When an adult puts his hearing aid in, he gets upset and grinds his teeth. He is not used to hearing so many sounds and all of a sudden the world is probably like a rock concert to him. I work with another child who begins to physically shake when a peer approaches her to talk. She walks up on her toes and begins to grimace. She will eventually engage and we encourage her to interact, but do so with plenty of breaks so it doesn’t becometoo overwhelming. One parent I know couldn’t figure out why her son wouldn’t stay in his bed at night. She eventually discovered their cat had deposited a “gift” right under the middle of his bed while they were away on vacation. Her son’s sensitive smell detected the lingering odor when she could not.

Being a sensory savvy parent is one part curiosity, one part sleuth skills, and one part perspective. Be open to seeing the world through your child’s senses and at first, adapting the environment to make it more conducive to your child’s needs. Over time, and with the help of a good OT, you can set up a sensory plan that will help your child learn to self-regulate and deal with the sensory issues. And finally, forgive yourself for those moments we all experience. Here’s a common one: you’re getting three kids ready for school in the morning and you’re running late for work. Your child with ASD/SPD begins to melt down because in the rush you put on the socks that have little tiny strings inside that drive him crazy. Now one childis screaming, another is telling you she forgot to do her homework the night before and the teacher will be mad, and the third child is telling you to pick him up from soccer practice after school! You notice your own meltdown meter skyrocketing! It’s okay, you are not alone – it happens to all of us. Stop, take a deep breath, and play detective to find out why your spectrum child is upset. Retrace your steps and once you figure out it’s the socks, go find the seamless ones, switch them out, and then everyone can calm down. Just toss one of those little chocolate Dove bars into your purse for the ride to work… you know, the kind that make you sigh with a sense of pleasure? Now you understand what it means to be a sensory savvy parent!

BIO
Britt Collins is a pediatric occupational therapist who lives in Salem, Oregon. She has an award-winning OT DVD series (otdvds.com) and a newly released book, Sensory Parenting.For more information visit sensoryparenting.com.


Recommended Reading
Growing an In-Sync Child: Simple, Fun Activities to Help Every Child Develop,Learn, and Grow. Carol Kranowitz, MA, and Joye Newman, MA

Parenting a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder: A Family Guide toUnderstanding & Supporting Your Sensory-Sensitive Child.Christopher R. Auer, MA, with Susan Blumberg, PhD

Raising a Sensory Smart Child: The Definitive Handbook for Helping Your Childwith Sensory Integration Issues. Lindsey Biel, OTR/L and Nancy Peske

Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder. Lucy Jane Miller, PhD, OTR/L and Doris Fuller

Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to do if You are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World. Sharon Heller


Copyright © 2011 Autism Asperger’s Digest. All Rights Reserved.

Book review: Starting Sensory Therapy, by Bonnie Arnwine

Today I’ve got another book review! This one is a MUST HAVE for everyone who is in some way affected by autism. There are all kinds of books out there that give us ideas on ways to play with our kids, but many of those advocate very expensive toys and therapies. For the first time, I’ve found a book that makes home-based sensory activities easy , affordable, and most of all- FUN.


Starting Sensory Therapy is a fantastic resource. The chapters are organized in a way that makes it super easy to flip right to the activities you need, rather than searching through the book. The book is divided into eight chapters, beginning with a very informational chapter that discusses different types of sensory processing disorders, evaluation and diagnosis, therapeutic options, and even goes into getting services through either insurance or through an IEP with the public school system.


The main chapters in this particular book are all based around the different areas that sensory therapy works on. Included are tactile, gross-motor, visual, auditory, olfactory, oral-motor, and fine motor activities. Each chapter contains many different activities (rather than just a couple), and even include ways to modify each activity to fit kids who do not yet have the skills required to complete the activity as it is written. That activities can be modified, and that the book explains HOW is really wonderful- it’s something I have very rarely seen in these types of books. My frustration a lot of the time is in finding all these great activities that my son can’t do yet. In the past I’ve tried myself to modify the activity and it’s do-able, but I cannot describe my excitement to see that this author already did this for me! The activities are easy to modify to make them easier, or to make them more difficult. There are wonderful suggestions on how to further extend each activity by adding it to a task or skill being worked on.


The coolest activity in the book is one that would never have occurred to me to try- a scent necklace. My son loves to sniff things, and we made him one of these simple, cheap necklaces. He LOVES it. It cost almost nothing to make, was a whole lot of fun, and it makes our lives easier. He wears it to the store, and we are spared spending half an hour letting him sniff candles to avoid a meltdown.


Some other pretty nifty activities include “shaving cream fun” with colored shaving cream and toy dinosaurs, “hair gel bags” made with glitter or sequins inside, “blubber” recipe to make cool rubbery play-dough, and “sticky bracelets” made with interesting objects found outdoors. The book even offers a variety of food related activities, from making simple peanut butter cookies to creating “banana bugs”- and these are things Jaymes just adores doing. He is, after all, an aspiring chef!


This is a book every teacher, therapist, mom, grandma, or friend of someone with on the spectrum or SPD should own. It is without a doubt the jewel of my collection and it is dog-eared, marked up, and has some shaving cream glued to it after referring to it so many times to keep Jaymes entertained and learning!

You can get your own copy of the book here- check it out!

Guest post- and definitely a worthy cause!

I was contacted by a teacher trying to get her students a real playground. Just watching my own child play on a playground, and seeing the opportunities that play equipment provides for kids like Jaymes to connect socially with their peers is a powerful thing. Our school is incredibly blessed to have several playgrounds and fantastic outdoor play areas- every school deserves to be able to say the same. Please give these great folks your votes in their contest, I know I will be

* Vote once a day, every day, here: http://www.refresheverything.com/muirautismplayproject or via text message 107391 to Pepsi (73774).
.

Muir Autism Play Project from Oona Hanawalt on Vimeo.

At John Muir Elementary School, which serves some of San Francisco's most needy children, students from the general education and autism-specific class currently play on a bare patch of asphalt surrounded by chain-link fence and peeling paint. We desperately need a play inclusive play space. Our proposal has been accepted for the Pepsi Refresh Project, and is posted for public voting between July 1-31. You can vote once a day, every day. If we're in the top 15 vote recipients, the students in this classroom will get an inclusive playground!

* Vote once a day, every day, here: http://www.refresheverything.com/muirautismplayproject or via text message 107391 to Pepsi (73774).

Imagine this: Jack, a sweet, chubby-cheeked pre-schooler in the autism-specific classroom, desperately wants to play with Simon, a general education peer. Simon asks, “Jack, do you want to play with me?” Jack is unable to respond and echoes back, “Jack, do you want to play with me?” His puzzled classmate walks away. As you can see, Jack’s autism hampers his social skills and he is unable to engage in the unstructured play that takes place on the empty playground.

Every day, he walks the perimeter of the playground for the entirety of recess, flapping his hands in front of his eyes while his general education peers run and play meaningfully with each other. Jack’s language and play deficits increase his isolation, exacerbating his environment of deprivation, and shutting out the myriad learning opportunities that his general education peers access. Jack needs a structured play environment.

After engaging in this solitary behavior day in and day out, Jack has lost the equivalent of 7.5 (180 hours) days of social interaction by the end of the school year. This social interaction is invaluable to Jack’s development. Research shows that children engage in play activities to practice valuable life skills such as conflict resolution, negotiation, and taking the perspective of others. For Jack, even the paucity of opportunity to use language is devastating. As Jack continues to pace the playground perimeter, hand-flapping in his own world, the window for neurological development is rapidly shutting, and those lost 7.5 days will never be regained. Without opportunities for engaged play, Jack will lose even more precious time.

A play space is something most schools, parents, and students take for granted, but Jack and his classmates don’t have one. An inclusive play space will drastically change the outcome for students like Jack. It gives them a place to play with their typically-developing peers, practicing social skills and gross motor skills. A play space at John Muir Elementary School would even the playing field for the students, and give them opportunities to engage in joyous play-something every child deserves!

You can follow our quest and read more at our website: www.muirautismplayproject.com. Thank you so much for your support!

Here's one for Fathers Day

Enjoy!

A Father's Moment
By Patrick Paulitz

Reprinted with permission from a featured article that appeared in the September/October 2005 issue of Autism Asperger’s Digest magazine. Learn more, www.AutismDigest.com.

All of us make daily choices in life. Most of these choices are trivial, like what to have for dinner or what color socks to wear. Other choices are more life-changing, like whom to marry, where to live, or what house to buy. Sometimes, choices are made which at the time seem to be in error, but allow us, if our ears, eyes, and mind are open, to learn about life, our children, ourselves. Sometimes a wrong turn can lead to nothing less than a miracle.

It was a spring Saturday in the Bay Area. There was nothing exceptional about the day, except that it wasn't raining. Not bad for a weekend in the wettest year California had experienced in decades. The sky was blue with white puffy clouds, and it was on the cool side - a great day for a picnic.

April and I decided to spend the day in Sausalito, a trendy upscale town on the waterfront just north of the Golden Gate Bridge. We packed a lunch and ate hot dogs, chips, and sodas with a spectacular view of the San Francisco skyline. The pigeons and sea gulls, we discovered, are only your friends when you're eating. They're not one of God's more loyal creatures, to say the least. Later that afternoon we blew bubbles with Shamus, our four- year-old autistic son, in a local park before starting the drive back to our home on the Peninsula.

On the way home I took a minor detour; I wanted to show April some nice places to have a picnic another time, with a great view of the San Francisco Bay. As luck would have it, despite our best efforts to follow the signs to the freeway we somehow took a wrong turn. Or was it a wrong turn?

We soon found ourselves among green rolling hills that we could see eventually led to the Pacific Ocean. We were debating whether to turn around, or just keep going and enjoy the ride. It was so beautiful, we decided to venture on. By the time we arrived at the ocean, April had no interest in making the short trek to the water. I parked the van and walked to the beach by myself, staying only a few minutes. It was no fun being there without my wife and son. That's just not the way God intended it.

Before maneuvering home, we knew Shamus needed a potty stop. Even though the restroom building was not more than a few hundred feet across the parking lot, we figured the less walking our boy did here, the better. Parked cars are a real distraction for Shamus. Once “business” was done, I turned to Shamus and said, "Shamus, do you want to go to the beach?" He was never a beach-lover before, but I thought I’d give him the option. Surprisingly, he said "yes." Kids, even autistic ones, do change sometimes, I guess…

We watched the waves tumble in, leaving the hissing, white-green foam behind. Shamus seemed to be enjoying it so much - the sound of the ocean, the frothy surf, the big sky overhead.

Now, Shamus is a native Californian and our home is only 10 miles from the ocean. He had been to the beach many times before and had never been too interested in exploring beyond the blanket he was sitting on. But today was different; he wanted to get his feet wet.

San Francisco is not a “beach” town, despite its physical proximity to the ocean. The water is cold, and summer weather along the coast is usually cold and foggy the entire day. Bay Area residents, especially coastal residents, don't wear shorts and don't keep beach towels in their car. Extra blankets and jackets are a far more practical item to have on hand.

But here was my son wanting – for the first time - to get his feet wet. So, we rolled up his pants, took off his socks and shoes, and I did the same. Shamus got his feet wet. He was ecstatic. As for me, the water felt like ice, my feet were frozen, my rolled-up pant legs soon unraveled, and in no time, both our pants were soaked - and we had no dry clothes. And yet, I wouldn't have traded that moment for anything in the world. It was our moment - father and son - playing in the surf. Nothing else in the world mattered to either of us. For most four-year-olds, such a moment would be routine. With our dear Shamus, however, I take nothing for granted.

April is such a “Mom.” Even today my own mother, who is 82 years old, often tells me to put on a sweater when she is cold. A mother's nurturing nature transcends generations and crosses cultural lines. As April motioned for us to come out of the water, even trying to bribe Shamus with a bag of potato chips, I shook my head. I laughed and laughed and shook my head. “No way,” I was thinking to myself. This is our special moment in time. I knew what she was thinking. We were cold and wet - more specifically, Shamus was cold and wet. Dad can take care of himself. And I knew that I would allow nothing - not even a loving Mom waving a bag of potato chips - to spoil this moment. Potato chips and a warm minivan could wait.

After we came out of the water, April drove home as I sat in the passenger seat, stripped down to my T-shirt and underwear. Shamus wore only a shirt and a towel – and a big smile on his face. As we drove south across the Golden Gate Bridge, I thought about what a miracle God had given me that day - and all because of a wrong turn.

BIO

Patrick Paulitz, a freelance writer, lives with his wife April and son Shamus in San Mateo, California.

Copyright © 2011 Autism Asperger’s Digest. All Rights Reserved.

Last day of school is tomorrow... Wow.

I have been in my happy little hermit-hole here at the house. When I get stressed out, as illustrated by the last not-so-enthusiastic blog post, I tend to avoid everyone and just do my own thing. Not sure why I’m that way. I guess I am not really much of a people person to begin with, and when I’m feeling sad or stressed I hate trying to be fun and interesting and happy around other people. I’ve barely talked to any friends, and not much better as far as family goes.

I have been busy with all those summer things I seem to start as a hobby, but which turn into a LOT of work. The garden is going great, the plants are enormous and everything is starting to grow wonderfully. I planted 15 or so tomato plants, everything from yellow cherry tomatoes to grape tomatoes, to Roma tomatoes, the beefmaster tomatoes… And so on and so forth. I love tomatoes, could eat them every day. Not a great thing for someone with pretty bad GERD to be addicted to, but it’s totally worth the pain! I put in four broccoli plants, but I have never grown the stuff before so I am not all that sure anything will come of those. I don’t really know when or how to harvest. I did a ton of cucumbers, and they have grown all the way up the big metal clothesline poles in our back yard. The cucumber vines and flowers look beautiful- kind of transforms those ugly poles into something less offensive! We did five different types of bell pepper- green, yellow, red, orange, and purple. Yes, purple. I hope they turn out really purple, that would be too cool. I also have potatoes planted, those are growing like mad. The tomatoes have gotten taller than me (admittedly, that’s not a whole lot… I’m only 5’1) and I have been struggling with stakes, cages, and bailing twine in an effort to keep the darn things from falling over.

We did meat chickens this year as well, the last of them were processed and frozen about a month ago. I am planning to do a lot more of that this fall, and next spring. Very cheap to buy the chicks and raise them, and it only takes 5-7 weeks to get a 6-8 pound bird. We’ll never be able to eat Walmart chicken with much enjoyment again- my birds taste a thousand times better! It’s also nice to know that the bird we are eating lived in clean conditions, got to enjoy the grass, bugs, and sunshine, and even got handfuls of popcorn or strawberries as treats. No antibiotics, no sick birds, no horrible living conditions. My birds live wonderful lives, and are processed humanely without any extra stress. I am considering getting enough chicks this fall to sell chicken to friends. I’ve had a few people ask, seems like a good idea.

Our laying chickens are getting big. I’ve got two hens laying right now. One is a beautiful white Silkie, and the other is my beloved frizzled Silkie. Both hens have had some issues, one prolapsed after laying an egg, so she is being kept in a milk crate with a blanket in the living room right now until I know she’s recovered. I ended up selling two of our Easter Eggers, chickens that lay blue, green, or pink eggs. I also sold the two Black Sexlinks. I decided I would rather just have my couple of Easter Eggers and my herd of fluffy little Sikies. I don’t need a whole lot of big eggs, the little Silkie eggs will be sufficient for me!

It’s been too hot to ride Rocket, and too much money anyway. Gas prices are so high I just cannot afford to pay gas to have Rocket hauled to our hunter paces. He doesn’t seem to depressed about his vacation from work! He’s fat and shiny, and living the life.

Jaymes has been doing really well. He has gotten to where he will tell me about his day, and he can sort of have a conversation. He especially enjoys going over what his stuffed animals eat and drink. In case you did not know, Silver Noctopus eats fishies. Silver and orange fishies. He drinks water. Jellyfish eats snails, and drinks root beer. Jaymes likes to boss his friends around too, telling them things like “no biting, Silver Noctopus.” It’s really funny when he lectures the offending stuffed animal.

Jaymes had his med management appointment last Thursday, and the psych was really amazed at how much he has changed. She was really impressed when I told him to stop doing something, and he listened. We decided not to mess with a good thing, and keep the meds right where they are. We’re coming up on a year from when Jaymes was in crisis, and spent that ten days at the inpatient psych unit at Baptist. Never want to repeat that again.

Jaymes goes to summer camp on Sunday. He is all enrolled and paid up with Camp Royall, one of the camps run by the Autism Society of NC. He will spend an entire week at sleepover camp, swimming and playing and having the time of his life. He is especially excited to do art projects. He tells everyone “I going to camp. Going to do art with the glitter.” I think he will just love it. It makes me happy that at least he gets to do one thing the “normal” kids get to do. Every kid should get to experience camp at some point. It will be really weird not having him home though, I’ve never been away from him for a week solid. We plan to make it a special week for Sierra. Jason took off the whole week for his vacation time, and we’re going to take Sisi to the zoo, to her first movie, and lots of other fun things. She deserves her own special time with mommy and daddy- I know how hard it must be to have a Jaymes as a brother. She puts up with a lot, and she is really mature for an almost five year old.

I found out that Jaymes will be getting a new school principal and vice principal- something that gets my nerves going again. I actually really liked Mrs. Cannon, our current principal. I think that after two years of dealing with me, we’ve come to understand how to work together and make things work best for everyone. It makes me want to scream to think I’m going to have to spend another year or more with someone who does not know Jaymes at all, trying to advocate for him. It’s very frustrating. I don’t like change, I guess. I get used to people. I really like Mrs. Cannon, and I also really like Mr. Moss, the vice principal. He’s a very mellow guy, very easy to work with on issues, just a very good guy all around. It will be hard to get used to two new people who do have a big impact on how the school year will go for Jaymes.

We have been so lucky, this last few months, to have Jaymes back with his teacher from last year, Mrs. Colditz. She is a fantastic teacher. She cares about Jaymes, and she and I really get along wonderfully. Nothing like the nightmare that was the original teacher Jaymes had this school year. That was a total waste of half the school year. Thankfully, he made up for some of that wasted time once he was placed back with Mrs. Colditz. I am praying he will have her again next year. She is one of only two teachers I trust completely with my little guy.

We were truly lucky to have an exceptional Kindergarten teacher this year too. He’s had teachers who tolerate his time in their room for circle time and stuff… But Mrs. Walter went above and beyond to make Jaymes part of her class, rather than “that autistic kid who comes in for a few subjects a day with an EC assistant.” She included him in EVERYTHING, and she did it happily- not grudgingly. I have never met a regular education teacher willing to go the extra mile like that for Jaymes. He got to go on all their field trips (and did wonderfully, by the way!), to the assemblies with her class, and he even got included in a school play. While that was a horrendous failure, the fact that he was included was incedible. I wish every teacher could be so openminded, willing to learn, and tolerant as Mrs. Walter. I kind of wish she’d teach first grade next year!

Mrs. Walter said some things at the last IEP meeting that really made both myself and my husband think. To us, we’re used to Jaymes as he is, so it can be hard to see which behaviors might be off putting to the “normal” kids. One thing that Mrs. Walter mentioned was the diaper thing. I never thought about it, but she’s right- what kid wouldn’t be a bit grossed out by a diaper? Especially if he is going toward someone to sit on their laps. He is nowhere near being potty trained, though we are still trying. He peed in the potty once for me, and never again. Jason and I have been trying to think of ways to cover up the diaper, so that kids won’t realize he is wearing one. I thought maybe putting on slightly large boys underwear over it might help. It’s worth a try at least.

The other thing touched on at the meeting was the fact that the spit wiping habit Jaymes has… Well, it’s just icky. Not only to kids, but to everyone. This one, I have been painfully aware of since it began. He cannot control it, the spit and wipe thing is an OCD type deal. It has all kind of lovely side effects- from red, painfully chafed skin on his face to a raccoon like appearance caused by the spit being wiped onto a dirty face, with dirty hands. Add to that the smell of a face constantly wiped with saliva, and you have a dirty faced, sore, slimy child who smells like rotten fruit all the time. Nothing we have tried has helped this, and I really think it is just going to have to run its course. It is what it is, it isn’t going to stop until it wants to stop.

We accept Jaymes for who he is, and we’re so desensitized to the ick and the smells and the diapers and the behavior. Sometimes we forget that not everyone deals with these things on a daily basis- and it’s ok for kids to be grossed out. We can’t force understanding and tolerance, but it Is wonderful to realize that in any situation, there are at least one or two or three kids who can look past the icky things and like Jaymes for who he is. The rest.. Well, they’re human and I can’t blame them for how they feel. Especially kindergarten kids.

I’m scared to death about next year. Jaymes will be a first grader, with new school administrators. New classmates, new regular ed teacher who may love him, or may be totally bugged by his presence. He may develop more bad habits, he may hit and kick and bite more next year than last year. Or, he may get put in with a kickass EC teacher and a kickass first grade teacher, and have a fantastic year. Only time will tell. For now, we’re ready to have a great summer, and get Jaymes working as best he can.